Shirley Abbott

I'm just as conflicted about my feelings regarding this memoir as the author seems to be about her feelings regarding Southern women. She both praises and insults them in turns, and seems to be both embarrassed by and nostalgic of a past she can't compartmentalize.

The author grew up in Hot Springs, Arkansas and knew my northwest part of the state when it was still dirt roads and, in her words, "primitive". It would be interesting to know how she sees NW Arkansas now with the rapid growth that has taken place in the last 15 years or so. Dirt roads are awfully scarce!

Published in 1983 when the author was in her late 40s, she obviously has a very different perspective from how most women in Arkansas would see themselves today. She makes a lot of assumptions about the intelligence of Southern women and her thoughts on the "Southern belle" are awfully stereotypical (though I will admit one mother and daughter pair I know did come to mind). Rather than being stuck with a choice between staying home to raise a passel of ignorant, dirty children who take after their ignorant, dirty mother; or escaping as an émigré to the North to find an education that is supposedly non-existent here; many of today's Southern women know that the best kind of education is the one you give yourself. Self-education can be very thorough, as well as very freeing, and is an option that many choose so they can live on their own schedule and terms---a concept that "educated" feminists seem to have such a difficult time grasping.

I purchased this book with hopes of learning about the daily lives, responsibilities, and dreams of Southern women from the past. Instead, this reads more like an author attempting to convince herself and everyone else that she's not as ignorant and hillbilly as "those people" from whom she came. While I did enjoy quite a bit of the social history in the book, I came away with little respect for the author.… (mer)

This book tells the story of eight different couples, and the various choices, sacrifices, and struggles that they each encounter in finding and keeping love. It shows each of the people both before and after the 9/11 New York Tragedy. The characters were easy to relate to, even though at times it was hard to follow. It was interesting to see how the differences in the relationships, and even how each person interacted with each other, post 9/11. Even though you don’t realize how something like that could impact personal relationships and love, it truly does.
Some of the characters were not fully developed or followed as much as I would have liked for them to have been. I would have liked to know more about each of the people, but there’s only so much information that you can fit inside a book. This may have been Abbott’s debut novel, but I would definitely look for other novels written by her.… (mer)