Christa Allan

Obsessed with brand names, social status, and, well, alcohol, Leah Thornton isn't your average Christian-fiction protagonist. She's shelved God as a subject for a later date and is slow to change, quick to fire sarcasm, even after her best friend calls her on her drinking and she checks herself into rehab. Yet her chilly shell protects layers of vulnerability that the author peels away gradually and believably.

I don't usually last all the way through women's fiction, but this is a worthwhile debut for sure. It almost earned four stars from me (a feat in itself for this genre) but not quite. Too many secondary characters (mainly the rehab staff) caused some of them to blur together, though others are quite well developed. Occasional verb tense oddness suggests this book was originally written in present tense then edited to past, but along the way some "being" verbs were overlooked. Also, Ms. Allan tends to write really-really-short and/or dangling scenes. Several times, a scene ends on a firecracker line of dialogue that ignites the conflict ... and then the narrative picks up hours later, with Leah telling someone who wasn't present about the rest of her evening. This may be a personal preference, but I really want to see action as it happens.

That said, in this quietly probing story of one woman's journey into the depths of herself, there's a lot of theme "meat" on which to ruminate. Leah's wounds and losses don't miraculously repair themselves in the final five pages. In fact, her healing has only started as her story ends, but she has found the path to a whole self and to God. I found myself caring about Leah, even about her husband Carl. Controlling and selfish as he is, he still seems potentially redeemable, simply never forced to grow up. I'm curious if Carl and Leah will rebuild their marriage-house on the Rock of Christ, or if Leah will have to find courage to leave.

If you've read enough "finding God means finding a perfect life!" fiction to last two lifetimes, give this book a try. It smashes Christian fiction's plot and character stereotypes, and it introduces an endearing protagonist with a well defined narrative voice.… (mer)

I bought the first version of this that was poorly edited. I read it then. In spite of myself, I was pulled into the story quickly.

Bless her heart, I thought Caryn was so WHINY. I understood her feeling cheated because her husband died young. I understood her feeling of confusion when her brother David came out. But she made everything about her, and that was not cool.

"When you first told me, I was more worried about being the sister of a gay brother than your being gay.." I was struck by this statement, and it seemed quite true. Caryn makes a comment at some point that she was surprised that her brother seemed to have a closer relationship with God than she did. She said she didn't want to be the one who pulled the rug out from him by telling him he was not going to heaven.

Where was she in her relationship with God? In no place to judge. I'm glad she finally figured that out. Her brother was the same person he was 10 minutes before he told her he was gay. How did she come to her beliefs? Dad wanted to send David (a grown man) to a reformation camp. She was just believing what she had been taught. Those beliefs didn't seem to be part of her.… (mer)