Mike Bechtle

This is a nonfiction book about how most men think and respond and what drives their behaviors.
Dr. Mike Bechtle, an educator, speaker and author, addresses why men act
the way they do in a variety of situations as they move through their lives.

I wish I had been able to read this book in my early 20's as a young wife. It is a very insightful book written by Bechtle with the goal of giving women ways to approach and communicate more effectively with the men in their lives. I could apply a great deal of this to my husband but also to my dad and my sons. He explains that most men will respond positively to conversation, communication and change if approached from the right angle.

He does preface his remarks by saying that some men may not fit these suggestions due to their abusive or other harmful behaviors and that one should seek serious help in those cases. He assumes that if you are reading this book you are seeking to build a positive relationship with a man you want to know and understand more deeply. He also reminds us that this is not a book about making your men change to meet your expectations. It is meant to give you tools so that you can approach them in positive ways to build stronger relationships.

This book gives very practical suggestions on how men think, act, and communicate. Bechtle gives suggestions on how to reach beyond the outer person to really build a relationship that nurtures both of you. In one of the chapters he mentions that his wife proofread it for him and suggested that all the work seems to be done by the woman in a relationship according to his writing. He clarifies that by bringing us back to the title and purpose of the book. It is meant to show women how to understand and approach situations differently for more positive responses and results. He reminds us that the book was written for women and gives them tools that THEY can incorporate for better communication. We cannot change other people... we can only change ourselves and our behavior. This book gives us those tools.

The ultimate message of this book is that we, as women, should take what we learn here to change how we will approach the men in our lives. He assumes we are not looking for a fight but for an open dialogue. He gives some great ideas that will help us approach our men with love and a desire to deepen our relationship with them. His approach is one that builds the team in marriage. I loved the part where he talked about two people bringing their strengths together to make a much stronger team than either could ever be on their own.

I highly recommend this book for any woman who wants to build better relationships with their husbands, fathers, and sons. It changed my mind about a lot of things. I see things that I can change about how I talk to my husband and older boys that I did not even realize may have sounded threatening instead of helpful.… (mer)

An encouraging read regarding evangelism for those who fall more on the introverted side of the spectrum.

The title is a bit misleading; the book is really about evangelism styles for the introverted. Those who are extroverts would do well to consider the book also in light of how they treat and work with those who might be introverted both within the body of Christ and those without.

The author discusses, through his own path and experiences, the challenges he encountered in attempting to evangelize according to the "playbook" he was given. He came to recognize that much of what passes for evangelism strategy is tilted towards those who are naturally extroverted.

He does not seek to reject such methods for those for whom it works, but he points a way forward for those who are a bit more introverted to find ways to witness for Christ through writing, through the cultivation of relationships, and to ascertain how one's particular skills and strengths can be best used to advance the Kingdom. He points out that introverts might notice things others might miss, may prove more reflective and provide great counsel, and their contributions should not be minimized just because they do not reflect the strengths of the extroverted.

I find myself split on the extroverted/introverted spectrum but much of what the author says resonates with my perspective and approach. It was nice to be affirmed for what I am and not expected to become something I am not.… (mer)