Greg Behrendt

A no excuses guide to understanding guys? I couldn’t help but wonder if authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo (of Sex and the City) were full of shit… And yet, their simple adage has a certain element of Truth: guys are not nearly as complex as we think they are when it comes to dating. At least, maybe they aren’t if we don’t allow them to get away with the bs excuses that make women think that dating is a “game” to be played (and presumably won). Exploring concepts as simple as “he’s just not that into you if he’s married” to far more complex discussions about intimacy and shared life goals, Greg and Liz treat every topic with a careful blend of humour and hard knocks. Some of their advice we definitely don’t want to hear, since we all want to be the exception and seeing the potential in some flawed man is most womens’ superpower (for better or worse), but it’s almost impossible not to agree with the vast majority of what they’re saying. People may have their issues (on both sides of the relationship), but if they’re going to be together there shouldn’t be any bullshit excuses not to be - sort that shit out, and be in the love that you deserve! Does reading this book mean that I’m ready to get back out there and actively find “my person?” Probably not, considering my current goals and situation, but reading this book somehow gives me hope for the future, even for all its critique of the complexities of dating.… (mer)

The perfect balance between telling the harsh truth a bit... well... harshly, and offering a gentle, compassionate acceptance of the current you, doing the best you can at the moment. Greg is the harsh one, no-nonsense, whatever. And Liz is the one balancing it out. Understanding that you don't want to settle for less, but there doesn't seem to be a high number of suitable candidates for such high expectations as honesty and being a normal grown-up person of the sex you are attracted to. Or even a low number. Anyway, if you have to be told, this is the book to turn to. And then just try to be fine on your own. Oh, yes, don't forget: romcoms are about the exceptions, not the rules. But chances are, you are the rule, not the exception.* (This is why making a romcom based on this book was basically slaughtering the original idea. Oh well.)

*It has to be noted that sometimes you are the exception.… (mer)