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Rob Bell (1) (1970–)

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Om författaren

Robert Holmes "Rob" Bell Jr. was born on August 23, 1970. Bell grew up in a traditional Christian environment. He attended Wheaton College. While at Wheaton, he roomed with Ian Eskelin of All Star United. With friends Dave Houk, Brian Erickson, Steve Huber and Chris Fall, he formed the indie rock visa mer band, "ton bundle". Bell received his bachelor's degree in 1992 from Wheaton and taught water skiing in the summers at Wheaton College's Honey Rock Camp. During this time, Bell offered to teach a Christian message to the camp counselors after no pastor could be found. He taught a message about "rest". He said that God led him to teaching at this moment. Bell moved to Pasadena, California to pursue this calling for teaching and received a M.Div. from Fuller Theological Seminary. According to Bell, he never received good grades in preaching class because he always tried innovative ways to communicate his ideas. During his time at Fuller he was a youth intern at Lake Avenue Church. He did, however, occasionally attend Christian Assembly in Eagle Rock, California, which led to him and his wife asking questions in the direction of how a new style of church would appear. Bell and his wife moved from California to Grand Rapids to be close to family and on invitation to study under pastor Ed Dobson. He handled many of the preaching duties for the Saturday Night service at Calvary Church. Bell announced that he would be branching out on his own to start a new kind of community and he would call it "Mars Hill" after the Greek site where the apostle Paul told a group, "For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you." In February 1999, Bell founded Mars Hill Bible Church, with the church originally meeting in a school gym in Wyoming, Michigan. As of 2005, an estimated 11,000 people attend the two "gatherings" on Sundays at 9 and 11 AM.[7] As of March 2011, Sunday attendance numbers between 8,000 and 10,000.[8] His teachings at Mars Hill inspired the popular "Love Wins" bumper sticker, and the congregation freely distributes these stickers after services. (Bowker Author Biography) visa färre


Verk av Rob Bell

What We Talk About When We Talk About God (2013) — Författare — 429 exemplar
Everything Is Spiritual (2007) 125 exemplar
Rain [DVD] (2005) 80 exemplar
Rhythm [DVD] (2005) 79 exemplar
Flame [DVD] (2005) 78 exemplar
Dust [DVD] (2005) 77 exemplar
Trees [DVD] (2005) 77 exemplar
Kickball [DVD] (2005) 75 exemplar
Lump [DVD] (2005) 75 exemplar
Noise [DVD] (2005) 74 exemplar
Bullhorn [DVD] (2005) 74 exemplar
Sunday [DVD] (2005) 74 exemplar
Breathe [DVD] (2006) 72 exemplar
Rich [DVD] (2006) 68 exemplar
Luggage [DVD] (2005) 67 exemplar
Matthew [DVD] (2006) 65 exemplar
You [DVD] (2007) 64 exemplar
Shells [DVD] (2008) 54 exemplar
Store [DVD] (2007) 54 exemplar
Today [DVD] (2007) 53 exemplar
Tomato [DVD] (2008) 51 exemplar
Open [DVD] (2008) 45 exemplar
Corner [DVD] (2009) 45 exemplar
Name [DVD] (2007) 43 exemplar
She [DVD] (2008) 36 exemplar
The Gods Aren't Angry (2008) 31 exemplar
Love Wins: For Teens (2013) 27 exemplar
Whirlwind [DVD] (2010) 25 exemplar
Nooma She 021: Rob Bell (2014) 17 exemplar
Nooma 001-010 (2008) 9 exemplar
Sick, and You Cared For Me (1978) 6 exemplar
Between the Trees 2 exemplar
Nooma 013-018 2 exemplar
Boundaries 1 exemplar
Loving ourselves 1 exemplar
Jesus and domitian 1 exemplar


Allmänna fakta



(shrugs) They say that love is better than sex, and usually there’s a lot of truth to that, but I think that ‘Sex God’ is a better buy than ‘Love Wins’, because SG will be like, God and relationships, real stuff, whereas LW will be like, vague weird noodling and passive emoting about love and heaven and shit, like in that Beatles song from Abbey Road, (and who would say that a child is bad! only someone racist in the only racism left—racism against whitey!), and then the brain-punishment conservatives will show up and be like, Not just any fucking loser gets to go to heaven! Only losers washed in the blood of lambs! And the liberal will be like, No that mosquito that just hurt me: it’s in heaven because I killed it, and brain-punishment will be like, But then Hitler will be in heaven! Real men are okay because HITLER is BAD! And if Hitler were in heaven, there’d be a War in Heaven because of that fucker: better that there be war right here on earth, so that Jesus in heaven can have peace! (The guy has been through a lot!)

It is kinda funny though: you can have a sex god, but no sex goddess, and he’s not gay, right. (whispers) Masturbation in Christianity…. “What did you just say!” (whispers) He’s all powerful, all wise, omnipotent…. Likes to masturbate, though…. “(walks over like) 👹”.

Yeah. I don’t know why I bother with the Christians. I mean, there’s sheer relevance-by-the-point-of-a-sword, right; and I guess every god deserves (multiple) second chance(s), even if he impersonates the One (I couldn’t think of the word, I was like imitate: you imitate a police officer; god, what’s that word! 😹) and harasses all the other gods, right.

(shrugs) Anyway, I’m turning 35 this Aquarius season, and my birthday is gonna be on the first day of the lunar month, (“new moon”), while the moon is in Aquarius.

Things could happen.

Anyway I bought a rose quartz necklace; it fits and is can be hidden (occulted, lol; it’s a heart), although I almost lost it last full moon as I write this, when I was going to cleanse it and charge/dedicate it, so I’m gonna wait until the next full moon for that. I also should leave some offerings for some beauty goddesses, like Freya likes jewelry, I’ve heard, roses for Venus, and I have it written down about Yemaya…. I don’t know, I would like a girl with Anglo features, basically—I feel like you can only tempt the monster so many times before he makes you go splat— but I’ve never felt, for this whole admittedly brief time I’ve rededicated myself to the gods, that liking Freya means you want a blonde or that liking Yemaya means you think you could survive an interracial relationship in this environment, you know; but really, of course there are these different cultures, but as far as appearances go, beauty goddesses are simply beautiful; they don’t embody isolated racial types because there ARE, NO isolated racial types, basically, right…. I just wanted someone I can love, and love without the monster making me go splat, basically. I’d also like us to become wealthy and accomplish things together; you know, things like—

(processing this) He’s a witch! He’s a witch! (beat) This is what happens because of the homosexual agenda, boys!
—Well, this embarrasses me, but this is more like the straight agenda, you know.
—Torches! I need a torch!
—Bro: this is the 21st century; we don’t have fucking torches; we—
—Cell phone flash light?
—(tries) It doesn’t make his hair catch fire. (points) You escaped this time, because your hour has not yet come. But know this: we will be, Watching You…. (turns) I think I’m going to blog about this. Say, do you think that the Chinese Communist government has anything in this? Maybe it has to do with feng shui….


…. On the one hand, Christian thought is a lot, and tends to be a terrible burden on believers and even unbelievers, while not even being terribly plausible, you know. Simultaneously it is certainly here, however it got here, and it isn’t always wrong or destructive or dead, you know.

What I mean is that Paul, of all people, said that husbands shouldn’t beat/abuse their wives but that the guy should love her, “as his own body”, (and if you said, “I’m a Gnostic and I have problems with that”, they’d bare their teeth like good Christians, you know), but if two partners embraced and the male one said, “I love you like I love my penis” 🥰, and word ever got out, I mean, even the gossip girls wouldn’t like it: “I may not go to church, you guys: but O. MY GOD!!”, right. And many many church-goers would take the episode as proof that good Christians are a maligned minority in para—(America is paradise, right? lol), in Egypt; the noose is tightening; the end is nigh, etc. Some of the saber-rattling might make it into an article in Esquire or, especially, Fox, you know.

(…. I mean, Esquire probably writes more about how the problem today is more the issue of quality rather than supply, as well as the intriguing question of how to get a GOOD supply going, although they do carry some news stories, that often are about sex issues, such as the Christian news militias and their latest campaigns. But Fox, yeah—constant stuff about the latest travails of the white male father slaves in Egypt, right.)

So it is what it is, right….

…. And it is funny how Paul’s “as long as the name of Jesus is mentioned, something good is happening” means only that there’s no accountability for the favored faction or tendency, in the cosmology of the ordinary Christian, while the “sign on the dotted line of my gospel, or go where the witches go, below, below, below, yo ho!” gets applied rather “liberally”, you know, and is the dominant one of the two, basically.

…. Never judge a book by its cover, check: never judge a book by the first three pages I can’t really tell on the e-reader today, check….

It is kinda funny how many stories in the Bible start, “There were two straight men”, you know. There were two straight men—they loved each other! They hated each other! They were ~brothers~!…. —are there no Viking emojis? 🐦‍⬛ Ok, that’s Odin’s raven; she’ll have to do; ok….

But yeah, I get that Bible stories can be kinda cool and profound, and I get that people talk about them. And I don’t resent that it’s not about Irish or Greek people—I don’t connect to my ancestors that much, and certainly I don’t conceive of ancestors as an ethnicity, right, although maybe I’m negligent towards my own line, I shall know one day (vegan version of, “I don’t know”), although I myself certainly am of a certain background, and the crib Christian folk certainly isn’t any Middle Eastern folk anymore than it’s Black or Asian: it’s seen to that, unfortunately, although about their own line, taken back too far, right; it’s weird—or Native American, or whatever; perhaps that would be a nobler resentment than the other, and it is amazing what wealth we threw away, what human wealth, and knowledge of this continent, we threw away when we Hitlered away the Natives, straight across the Mississippi; I live on the East Coast and aside from the Connecticut casino or whatever it is, practically no Native communities live east of the Mississippi, from what I understand…. Yeah….

But yeah. There are Christians.

And I do like the primitiveness of the Bible: Jacob built a herm, basically, right: or maybe—looking up herms in detail now, lol—it’s that I always imagined that building a herm was just like what Jacob does here: pile together a few rocks, and call it an altar, you know; maybe pour a little grape juice over it. (Wine and grape fruit juice are the same, ritually. I’m convinced of it. Jk.) But maybe herms were different…. And yet maybe I could pile together some rocks in a park and call it a herm…. Maybe not too many, lol…. “What’s the freak doing with the rocks….”. (stands up, starts to walk over) “I don’t know, but this is America….”

But yeah, it’s funny how gingerly he has to take sexuality in the religion of love, right: as though it were a matter of building a herm (in whatever the fuck sense I mean) of grenades or something, right…. Which stance I kinda get: but also, I really don’t, you know…. I mean, Paul’s “a man should love his wife as his own body” is a good saying, if a profoundly and almost irreconcilably un-Christian (if not positively Satanic and anti-Christian) one, right: in all but theory, right…. Only in life and the final score, boys: but not in theory…. I mean, can you imagine if he just started with that Paul quote, and then told a few sex-positive stories (it almost wouldn’t matter if they WERE all straight married couples!) in a sunny, chipper way, and then…. I mean, people would be waiting for him to burn down his church, right. They’d have him burned in effigy before the night was over…. And in a crazy sort of way, it almost ~would~ be insensitive, even imprudent: although it’s crazy nutty that it’s like that, and how sometimes prudence is practically the ONLY Christian virtue, right: “But this one remains: prudence…. Don’t forget it, losers!” (Three blocks— on the bottom: “prudence” in normal and fancy letters, supporting the block above it with “PRUDENCE” in ~bold caps~, right….)

…. But yeah: it does seem like a basically sound thesis—“this is always about that”; physicality is always about spirituality, and vice versa, right. It’s just that—I mean, I never thought I’d be this person—but I’m just anxious about what a bloody Christian writer is going to actually DO with his thesis, right…. I guess, I mean Rob seems like a good person, right; I know that it wasn’t Rob who chopped down Donar’s Oak, c. 700 AD, right, (I never understood the point of CE; it’s like, rebellion without difference, you know)—“And if ye dinnae show to kirk tomarrah, me and the lads will chop down ANOTHER tree!!!”, (yes, they’re Scottish, for some reason, in my head)—and then a thousand years or later or so, that was like a fairy tale where every time a child is naughty and pretends to be sick so that they don’t have to go to church, a dryad kills herself, and a tree dies….

But yeah: Rob is certainly brave. All that fucking baggage, and he still thinks it’s gonna work out, right. I guess that Christians dare to go, where angels fear to tread, right…. 😹

…. Yeah, this is kinda why I’m a Wiccan.

I mean, it’s certainly not an easy place that Christians have put themselves into—there’s like female Christianity, where you’re supposed to pretend that women writers of the 19th century were obeying society—let me give you a hint: just by putting pen to paper, right…. And kinda, male Christianity, where you open Chapter One of the God & Sex book with…. THE HOLOCAUST.

Right?…. I mean, it’s like, Hey Jane, come over here: I want to talk to you about love relationships…. “Yes?”…. Fuck you! (slaps)

I mean, believe it or not, talking about Hitler and murder in history is not the Answer to Everything, right.

And then he talks about callous men rating women’s bodies 1-10 and criminal men kidnapping women to use as their slaves, right—and if this were, like, “People” magazine or something, you could see how that might be breaking down stereotypes, right. And some romance-y things DO break down stereotypes, like say the book “Me Before You”, right. Which mentions a chicken processing plant in like the first chapter. (Although they never debate the demerits of various WWII dictators, because it’s like…. It’s not like, OMG HITLER! NOW I KNOW THE TRUTH OF LIFE!)

But this isn’t “People” magazine, it’s male Christianity, right: don’t have sex, people who have sex are ~criminals~! I’m telling you the truth, Jane: if you go on a date with that boy who doesn’t go to church, you could get ~raped~! You could get kidnapped and end up in South-East Asia! Think Of What That Would Do To Your Mother!

I mean: understand, ~EYE~ won’t miss you; but your mother would be very upset.

~ And it is male Christianity, but part of it is kinda the Bible, right. Jesus apparently said that it is “sin” to “look at a woman with lust”, right—which, if we can kinda dispense with the pompous Bible talk, you know, means that ~if you look at a girl and get turned on: you’re going to hell…. And then, lest that seem like something from the Middle Ages or something, Liberal Rob says, “But we don’t want callous men to callously stigmatize women’s bodies as sexual, right”—and it’s like, Ah yes, if we stigmatize sex itself, it will disappear…. And obviously teaching people that sex is dirty does NOTHING to make people callous and snooty when they look at sex, right…. And OBVIOUSLY, Rob is saving-the-girls here, because women DON’T HAVE sex drives, right, as the slightest glance at the publishing industry confirms, so if we stigmatize a girl who feels some kind of way, and then dresses accordingly, right—I mean, wow, the men who get turned on are going to hell: I guess that makes her the DEVIL! Or at least it would, if women were important enough to be the devil, right…. Although, you know, C.S. Lewis thought that Jesus is a brave man, a lion, and the devil is a sexual woman, a witch, right…..

At the end of the day, the problem with men is that they just love death, you know. And liberal men often conform to this 1000%, basically. They don’t like to solve problems. That would give them less to criticize and be correct about. At the very least, you’ve got to be dignified, right. Nothing more dignified than a corpse: the live ones are kinda squishy and disgusting, really. Life itself: the ultimate problem for Christianity….

…. And yeah, Christians can be Every Bit as ~smug~ as people rating body parts, right: Don’t worry, Rob isn’t from one of the sexual races; he’s a white Christian; indeed, he follows the path of ~Male Christianity~, what need could there be for a pogrom? Waste of bullets, I say. Save them for when they’re needed, I say. (does shot) Well, I’m off—more brains to evaluate, and much work to be done!

…. Basically, the internet consists of:

1. People think about sex, therefore:
2. People hate themselves, because they hate sex, and:
3. They think that all of their problems can be solved by hating sex, shaming sex can never be irrelevant, there is no magic it cannot perform. It’s like a superstition, you know.

And then, the Christian comes along and says:

1. People think about sex. That’s bad…. Ok. That’s all my material—that was my whole act! Goodnight, Michigan! Lock your daughters in at night and vote for higher taxes for the wealthy! This is America! God bless! 🇺🇸

…. Rob’s not a bad guy, in the sense of being intentionally hateful, but I don’t think I’ll read any of his other books…. Nobody today would respond to a question about race and racism by explaining that they watched “Pride & Prejudice” as a beautiful example of people coming together despite the cultural barriers of masculine vs feminine, right—and rightfully so. So ~why~ is it acceptable to Rob to say, Yeah, the Bible doesn’t talk about women enough for there to be a strong masculine vs feminine flavor, and if there is, I don’t care: but wow, think of the cultures—the Jewish cultures; the non-Jewish cultures; the cultures that looked one way, and the cultures that looked another way—the only common ground they could come together on was patriarchy, but glory glory hallelu—it was enough! Praise JESUS! Can I get an “Amen”?….

I’m gonna try to stop commenting so frequently, because I’m pretty sure it’s gonna not get better/be repetitive, you know.

…. And yeah, I get that it’s not just him. People ask you what you do, and if you’re a Christian pastor, even if you’re at a Stones concert, they except free therapy and/or vague profundity, right. (Talk about paying attention to where you are, right. “You know, I think that living in the present moment will help you with your disorder….”)

And yeah, sometimes he even gives “good advice”, like in terms of environmentalism. Although his reasons are basically: Jesus/duty, and feeling bad about yourself/people shouldn’t have cars, right. “Think of the children! Children, don’t you want your parents to suffer? Remember, they make money, and they put you at bed; they wouldn’t let you stay up….”

I picked up trash on my way home, yesterday, but I didn’t do it out of duty, or because of an environmental screed, you know. Basically, it was Wicca, plus “Recycling for Dummies”. Litter ends up in the ocean, hurts the turtles; hey, my personal religion is called Turtle Path; I love turtles….

Whenever I looked at the litter before, I just saw a liberal Christian active in the local municipality scowling at me, I just figured life was enough already, right.

And yeah: I’ll try not to write too much more; I feel like he’s already exhausted most of his unique topics he’ll use, lol.

…. Ok, I’m defs not going to go over everything, but I do need just a little bit more space:

Mostly just: yeah, maybe one day I won’t be surprised, at just how much less respect virtually all “advanced” intellects offer to the people below them, than the conscientious ordinary people, you know.

And it’s just amazing, you know, for how many male Christians, sexuality comes in two forms: the sexuality of the whore, and the sexuality of the monk, you know. And obviously that’s a nice fight to set for yourself, you know—I’ll fight Rocky; I’ll fight Rocky right after I sneak into his house at night and cut his legs off: ~which is kinda the Christian attitude towards the prostitute, right—but even if they’re grand about it, the very issue of grandiosity is even more stubborn, right. I can talk about monks who have sex with leaves and the sun and the sky and their books, for whom sex is only and always a philosophical problem, right: or we can talk about the whore down on her luck. But we don’t talk about people who go on dates here.

You know why? Because this is Gawd’s Haus.

Ok, that should be enough.

…. But yeah, but just as to feelings, right:

“Do you need Cool Christian Advice? You need Rob Bell! “We don’t need radio or television; we need JESUS!” “Christian Schmuck with Rob Bell” errs on Thursday night, right after football: only on, W, XYZ!”

~But yeah, enough of the airy-scary Christians and their lies; I need to visualize the sun—the sun is in my belly….

(calms down) Although of course, I love the informations. I feel like if I had a nice Mercedes or BMW sedan, I’d call him Information…. If I had an Italian car, I’d call her Alice, after Alice Cullen…. But if a BMW or Mercedes, then he’d be, Information….

…. Okay: I will seriously give myself $20 (or something) if this is the last one, but it is, kinda funny, how male Christians’ reaction to female Christianity is almost always the same as the classic Christian stance towards the Jews, (at least…. In recent decades…. LOL….): I don’t mind the Jews so much, son—we own those people; they’re alright….

Isn’t it so?

…. Ok: I’m sorry. I apologize. It’s just so funny, you know.

“Animals ain’t shit. They have ~sex~…. And not only that: humans have a special gift: humans can conform. Humans can live an empty life of conformity, and they can do it without living lives where they totally abstain from life in order to gain power, independence, and philosophical control. Praise be to God, the Lord and Father of our god Jesus Christ! You can get married, and ~not~ enjoy it. Enjoying sex would be like, rape, or something. Something bad. And not getting married…. How would the community control you?”

And he’s a fucking liberal, as far as Christianity goes. Un-fucking-real.

…. I apologize, but just briefly:

He doesn’t like money and sex and the senses, because he finds them all to be inherently dishonest, although he’s not honest enough to really own that anti-sensory POV and contradicts it in 2.5% of the sentences before going right back to affirming it, and he wasn’t honest enough to stop his book going to press with an Incredibly Misleading title, subtitle, ~~and introduction~~, basically so that he could make more money and gain more prestige, you know.

Money, sex, and the senses are BAD, because they INHERENTLY AND ALWAYS lead to dishonesty. HOWEVER, if you’re being dishonest, and it has nothing to do with money, sex, and the senses—and especially not sex and the senses, right—then…. Well done, good and faithful servant! Come and enter into the joy of your patriarch!

…. But yeah: the sun is in my belly and the moon is in my heart—and if that offends you, Christian, that’s okay, because you have my permission, to go fuck off. You could even stop trying to get my attention, seeing as I’m so goddamn cursed or whatever, right. (shrugs)

…. So yes: I apologize, I though since beyond a certain point he had no more substantive arguments, just—Rape is bad: therefore the rule of men; when male values triumph, there will be no more rape—so I figured there would be nothing else to comment on, and yet it’s wounding again, each time he re-words it, right…. It’s like, I used to kinda Christian (used a verb) white men, right: you have be sacrificial, and/or you have be very, very wise…. And it holds people to unreasonable standards. But the other Christian reality is that white Christian men are held to almost NO standard at all: you just have to be a man; just don’t rape; be polite, right? ~ (crying) You have never respected me…. “Shhh…. I will never rape you…. I’m the ice king….” And just under, I don’t know, neuroses: projection, or misanthropy, maybe, when he sees a couple that doesn’t hold hands in public, no public displays of affection, doesn’t sing a song that was a hit, before your mother was born, right—like, he’s ready to seize their house on the grounds that The Monasteries Have Been Dissolved, right…. And if they sing a song that their mother doesn’t know, it’s rape, and they both have to immediately be killed, right….

One naturally wants to salvage something from the wreck of the USS Church: but I am going to have to be much, much more careful about not handing these people ammunition, basically. It’s not okay.

…. But yeah: my favorite part of the book was the exchange between Rob and his therapist, right.

(Rob Bell, Cool Christian) But what really made me get symptomatic was when my friends got their expensive new phone in the mail, and they were passing around the various parts of the phone, admiring their aesthetic appeal. It made me want to bash my head against the wall! I think that’s sin! It’s, rape!
(Bearded Jewish man with hurt look in eyes) (nods sympathetically) I believe you have a problem. It’s called….

~Jane’s day will come, right…. We won’t have Wednesdays, anymore. It will go: Monday, Tuesday, ~Janesday~….

…. And then after 80 pages, right, like—I don’t know what the best time metaphor is, right, but it’s like: ok honey we’re going on a date—but first I have to talk with the people I like…. Now, now I’m ready. Time for you to be ready. “You mean you don’t want to spend more time with the people you like?” Right?…. I mean, after 80 pages of love is rape, he turns on a dime and is like, Love is abstraction! Love is vague! Love could make a philosopher out of even the wussiest man!

You know, and, life is shit…. Life is hard for, God…. Life is hard for a teenage boy; life is hard for a girl that gets cheated on; life is hard for a rich man; life is hard for ~Jesus~…. “Bro, I agree with you. I am not a Nazarene, but I think it’s very sad how it ended for him. He just couldn’t get through to people. Thousands of years later, his followers still block out his love, and pillage the earth.” Shut up: and it was hard for God!!!! You think it’s hard for you: I’m telling you: it’s hard for ~~God~~!!!

And it’s also hard for teenage boys!!! Girls’ cosmetics commercials talk about how makeup gives you confidence! Boys don’t have that!!! Save the whales! I mean, the males!!! 🐳


I’m not really paying attention anymore, though. He’s established what he’s like: the rest is just contractual obligations, right…. You know, it’s funny how Sting is like the nervous boy who feels unworthy in love in the everything she does is magic song, and then he’s the possessive psychotic stalker husband in the every move you make song, right…. But at least he believes in universal peace, right, like in those songs…. Maybe he’s a Christian, right. He certainly wants us not to stand so close to him, right. I feel like that’s in the Bible, right. I feel like if you get that right, everything else just works out…. It’s like, England, you know. God is English…. He went to a good school; he made connections…. Maybe he’s a doctor or something….

…. It can be just amazing to what extent the Christian religion is belief in men and maleness, you know.

And it’s amazing—it really is amazing—you can take a Christian minister telling a husband to do something for his wife, and it’s not like, free people deciding to make an agreement over their differences, deciding to collaborate or look at what they can gain together instead of apart—or even shaming him to “do something for her”—no, not quite. It’s like: here you are, the man, but above your there’s maleness; there’s obedience, submission, the military spirit; there’s the abnegation of the principle of freedom; there’s the superiority of the abstract over the particular. Can’t you see, little man, that the man must serve maleness, maleness in the social order—yes, even if it’s his wife, some little femme he’s bound to, for slavery’s sake—because *then and only then*, can man prosper: when men, and maleness, prosper, *together*!

Everything else is the world! It didn’t exist during the White Centuries in Europe! It’s modern! It’s like…. The apes, or something. Rise of the Planet of the Apes: that’s the future, white man, if not for you: if not for maleness!….

It’s like he keeps finding a new way to say, the same garbage, over and over again. But then, he’s a preacher.

…. ~It’s like 9/11….

~ Yes!!! Needs more campy Holocaust/genocide/atrocity crap. “I may be a preacher with a poker stuck up my ass, but I, Believe In Love!!! It was love!!! It was love, that made Yehuda the Jew sneak out of the men’s camp in Bergen-Belsen in 1943, so he could go to the women’s camp, just in time to see his wife, sickly little Miriam the Small, go up in flames as her fat ass was shoved into the incineration! It was love!!! It was love, that guided him through life: and it was love. That guided him home.”

You know, like: the fascination for atrocities becomes like, kinda disgusting after a certain point: like, Hitler and stuff like that, becomes people’s way of understanding life, you know; we know about life because of Hitler and the Holocaust…. It really becomes abusive, after a certain point. Like they’re abusing, something; I don’t know what, exactly….

…. But yeah, I guess the Holocaust, or Christ’s bloody body being crucified, makes Christian love look pretty good, right. “As long as that doesn’t happen to me….” Or as long as the morality police don’t harangue me about modesty. I read one of those “modesty” books, once, you know—I think the very one he says should be “mandatory”, or whatever. Hear that, DeSantis? Maybe you could do something about that: don’t read about women’s history; read a **modesty screed**, right. Wow. Well, there you go: Cool Christian/revolving door/fucking bloody medievalist, practically, you know. It’s all the same in the end…. You don’t have rights; it’s not your body; it’s not your choice; you don’t have equal value—you may be asked to die, to support my place in the social order, little one…. It’s either that, or, god, we might have to admit that we were wrong about some things; that we just wanted control; that we were out of touch with Reality…. Or, we could, what was that old joke about Brezhnev? “Comrades, comrades: let’s just dim the lights, pull down the curtains: and pretend the train is moving!!!”

Maybe Cool Christians are Brezhnev Christians, right. Holy shit; it’s like: at least don’t make your lies an insult to my intelligence, okay, Christian? I can actually tell a moral lie pretty easily, if it’s brazen enough. Fuck’s sake, holy shit….

…. I just find it so comical that he finds fault BOTH with the ice monarchs who don’t want anyone to see them be affectionate with each other, AND the flirty fools who make out in public because she gave herself to him without first asking him his projected status in the upcoming military dictatorship, right…. Head of State: Rob Bell. Head of Government: Jesus Christ…. God, what came after that, in those Hearts of Iron II governments, right…. Oh, my god…. Right? Fucking crazy…. “Will you shed blood for me, Tarzan? Which is more important, the sex, or the eating/being outside of prison”, right?

Although if somebody punched him in the face, he’d either call a cop or run away, you know. He wouldn’t pull out a gun and shoot the guy to protect his caveman bride, right.

Who the fuck writes this Christian shit—and why don’t Christians like anybody, you know?

…. And he doesn’t even acknowledge what Christian marriages are really like, you know. How can you acknowledge reality while writing propaganda?

~ Why am I a racist? Lemme ask you something: have you not noticed, that my, wife, is racist too? And you know, I like my wife—she makes me sandwiches. No, no: you listen to me: ~~if I were to have to pay somebody for all the menial shit she does for me—I would be out a lot of money~~…. So I’m committed to our relationship.

…. (Child Hermes) And now the mystery of Christ, children, is that Jesus was a good man who did only kindness and goodness always, but: he hurted the children. (nods) The children wanted to cavort in the glen in the springtime, but they got hurted, because they’re found out, it wasn’t a good idea. It was against the Rules. (nods) Now, we know from the Bible that following Jesus Path leads only to things like truth and peace, and we don’t know how hurting the children is connected to this theme…. (considers) Also, we know from the Bible’s teaching that a Christian would never lie, so we don’t know why Mr. Rob titles all his chapters like, Sex: It’s Good!, but the theme of every chapter is like: Sex: Run Away, or It Could Happen—to You!!!…. We know he isn’t being dishonest; Scripture is clear on this point….

(Child Mercury) Mr. Hermes, what is the essence of Jesus Path?

(Child Hermes) (extends hands to the side) Why, the essence of Jesus Path is to make snide comments about reality television! Children, don’t you know that such a thing would never happen in the world? Without Biblical Hebrew, it would be impossible! It would be against the laws of the knowledges—against the laws of the chemistries, and the poetries, and the sciences, to be able, without Biblical Hebrew, to be able to say that cavorting in the glen is not an exercise in ~philosophy~, right.

(Child Mercury) But maybe we could discover these knowledges with the Tree of Life and Kabbalah?

(Child Hermes) You’re obviously not from the Midwest! Guards, seize that man! Yes, let the world know that, in the Midwest, people who don’t follow Jesus Path will be punished! And made to feel sad! (giggles uncontrollably) Ah. Gotta work on my villain laugh.

…. And yeah, it’s cute when old married couples are deeply in love—I just wonder what “service” we as society are actually doing, when we try to legislate—or failing that, to shame—that state of events into being, right…. Maybe if people get married for a year, and then decide that a year was alright but now they want to separate, all the gods and angels and the Jesuses of the various churches don’t sit in judgment, like: fuckers just ruined my whole day!

For a religion that (according to Rob) says it values sacred secrets, right—Like No Other Religion, (laughs)—they sure do want people to spill the beans, right. “What the hell is the matter with you two—you’re not married anymore? Defend yourselves: explain! Who cheated? Did somebody cheat? What the hell happened? You’re not getting away from my shame spirals that easy, little lady/little lover man!!”

Christians and their sacred secrets, yeah, ok…. I mean, Christians can get together and share teachings verbally, right: if they wanted to keep things secret instead of advertise them—The One True Thing, That Is ~Allowed~ To Be Advertised, By ~God~, right—I mean, they could pull that off if they wanted to, right….

…. Paul could be quite a character. Let’s see: begin the book with love is rape, end the book with…. Well, I guess I don’t need to ~punish~ you for being married, exactly. I just think less of you, the way I think less of people who don’t do advanced maths, right.

Jesus is more, admirable, respectable, I don’t know. Certainly there is what the shamans call the Upper World, and being connected to spirits and angels is good; I just don’t think that my paradise (“the world is my idea”) will be quite the same, or quite as similar to the Upper World, right. There should be death, so that there can be birth. The physical world doesn’t have to become Upper-World-tinged to become acceptable. There should be death, so that there can be birth.

We just don’t need factory farming, or poverty, and so on.

Or books like this one…. Isn’t it wild how this isn’t even the sort of Christian who prides himself on being intentionally offensive? He really thinks he’s clever! He thinks he’s being good!!


… (mer)
goosecap | 17 andra recensioner | Mar 20, 2024 |
It was so charming and fun, I enjoyed it very much. Five stars.
Donderowicz | 2 andra recensioner | Mar 12, 2024 |
Claims the Bible as a collection of documents recording this one tribe's revolutionarily new, progressive, and continually developing understanding of their relationship to God. The Judeo-Christian relationship to God as recorded in the Bible's stories was a huge leap forward in human consciousness, an expansion beyond the narrow limitation of concern for your particular tribe to a goal (often failed, sure) of blessing all humanity with love and goodwill. That relationship is not static, but an arc, moving forward in greater fulfillment - and, implied, is the question of why should that human development into greater levels of understanding have stopped?

Best question to ask when reading a story from the Bible: "Why did people find this important to write down?" Then, "Why did this story survive?" The worst way to approach the Bible: "Why did God say/do..." Illustrates with some specifics how a deeper understanding of the historical context in which books of the Bible were written illuminates their meaning and purpose, what the writers were trying to communicate to their audience of that time, and how it was a progressive step forward - and how a literalist interpretation that ignores context misses the point.

Written in a chatty style of quite low reading complexity.
… (mer)
lelandleslie | 13 andra recensioner | Feb 24, 2024 |
4.5⭐️ rounded up. Thoughts to come.
erindarlyn | 55 andra recensioner | Jan 25, 2024 |



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Associerade författare

Anne Lamott Contributor
Cathleen Falsani Contributor
Clayton Libolt Contributor
Jack Heaslip Foreword
Shayne Moore Contributor
Pope Benedict XVI Contributor
N. T. Wright Contributor
Peter Rollins Contributor
David Dark Contributor
Richard J. Mouw Contributor
Oswald Chambers Contributor
Frederick Buechner Contributor
Donald Miller Contributor
Glenn Parrish Contributor
Michael McDermott Cover artist


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