Susan Dermond

This book has some really helpful suggestions. Nothing amazing, but helpful. My two favorites were the suggestion of developing routines/rituals (Dermond gave more detail on how to do this than other books I've seen) and the image of an eternal stream of love and as parents, when we're angry, we need only dip into this stream to offer this love to our children (or ourselves or our partners). It helps me when I'm angry to not feel like I have to come up with the loving feelings on my own, that the love just exists and I merely need to access it. Kind of a simple idea when I write it out like that, but I've found it quite helpful.… (mer)

Generally I recommend this book. The author has a great deal of first hand experience working with and observing kids. She presents a good deal of information that passes the common sense test or is backed up by reputable studies. There are many good practical suggestions for implementing what she is talking about.

All that said, there are a number of foibles, although I think they are worth looking past. First, there is a strong new age spirituality bias to this, although this doesn't mean non-Christian. Sometimes this leads the author to make rationalizations and theoretical claims that seem dubious if you don't already buy into the world view. Of these, quite a few don't undermine other compelling evidence or common sense arguments if the reader doesn't let it get in the way. Other times, it is easy enough to drop one of the suggestions in a chpter while still having many good ideas left.

The other matter that is a bit problematic is that the author sometimes takes a fairly straight forward idea and overdraws a conclusion from it. For instance, she contends that all matter is really energy [not exactly true], & therefore musical vibrations with certain qualities can calm. This is a really big leap (although I'm oversimplifying the author a little). Like the new agisms, the reader can often overlook many of these problems as they were unnecessary to convince the reader (in this example) that certain types of musics can calm and other kinds might disturb or increase anxiety.

Despite some flaws, I highly recommend this book to parents and teachers. This is one of those books that show the limitations of rating systems, in that the flaws make giving a 4 or 5 star rating difficult, but yet do not detract from the critical importance of the book.… (mer)

This book, I think, will have trouble finding its way into the hands that need it most. Those who pick up this book are likely already inclined to raise calm and compassionate children and won't find many surprises within its pages. Those that could use a dose of its wisdom are unlikely to pick it up in the first place.

One of the best features of this book are the activity lists at the end of each chapter that give the reader specific ways to implement the author's guidelines. Like many books of its ilk, however, the narrative voice often suffers from a bit of smugness. Yes, the author seems to have discovered a method of parenting/teaching that is mindful and loving, but when its described, sounds self-satisfied and a bit precious.… (mer)