Maia Kobabe

I bought this book for my teenager, as it was at the top of all the banned book lists, which seemed like a good indicator that it would be worth reading. Then, as people continued to talk about it, I decided I had better borrow it from him.

I loved this book immediately. The illustration style is straightforward, inviting, warm, humane. The story is an unfolding of learning and discovery of gender that organically underlines how fluid it all is -- how the markers of gender are so heavily dependent on a particular time, place, social class, society. Maia's journey in slowly finding and drilling down on those things that feel authentic, comfortable, and frankly discussing the tradeoffs of conforming to one expectation or another.

One doesn't have to be questioning one's gender to find this book a revelation (though how helpful this book could be if you were!) The whole vibe of this is liberatory -- reminding us we can all be brave enough to pursue the becoming of who we truly are. In particular there were two scenes that felt like fireworks going off in my brain. First, the "controversial" blowjob scene -- which I honestly wish I could put in the hands of every teenager in their country. While conservatives wring their hands over the "obscenity," I was blown away by the honest depiction of someone trying something sexual with a partner that they thought they would be into, realizing they were NOT, communicating that, and their partner respecting that and moving on. I am comparing this to my own sex ed class, where we were shown a chart of a boy's arousal during sexual activity, and a line that depicted his "point of no return," where, it was heavily implied, it would be too late for us girls to say no.

I still get furious thinking about it. Obviously.

The other moment was unexpected. Maia meets up with Jana Bee, who introduces em to the concept of nonbinary identity and neopronouns. But something about Jaina's presentation -- hair, clothes, and especially that SWEATER made my heart fill with glitter. I am now on a quest for a real-world sweater that fills my heart with as much joy.

Listen. This book is incredible. And incredibly important. It needs to be on the shelves, available to kids who don't even know yet that they need it.… (mer)

Fantastic illustrations, first off. Absolutely fantastic illustrations. A lot of the pages could be turned into individual prints due to their emotional impact and translation. Kobabe's handle on words, colors, lines, conveyance of facial expressions, and space shine in this work-- just heckin great.

I don't really have an opinion on what e wrote about emselves due to this being a memoir and this is Kobabe's truth. I will not take away from that with a 'well actually' when it comes to eir experience with eir sexuality and gender presentation. What I will say is that I saw a lot of myself in eir experience and I am grateful that it exists here for others to read and, hopefully, understand.

It's a 4 and not a 5 because there was an instance of quoting from an expert in the book and the fact that it is the only expert quoted in this memoir (as far as I remember I swear I did not see any other source quotes and if I'm wrong I'm wrong) makes me feel some kind of way.... however, that is the expert that Kobabe chose to quote from for eir memoir. I will not 'well actually' it, but I will state that I have discomfort with it and leave it there.… (mer)