Jeffrey A. Kottler

BOTTOM-LINE:
It gave me the courage to get unstuck after 30 years
.
PLOT OR PREMISE:
Kottler reflects on the literature and personal experiences as a psychologist about the elements that lead people to not only make changes in their life but also sustain those changes over the long-term
.
WHAT I LIKED:
I had the pleasure of hearing Kottler speak as an honoured guest at my wife's university graduation ceremony, and he intrigued me enough on the subject of "change" -- what we know and what we don't know -- that I bought his book. It was the perfect book for me at this point in my life, as I've been wanting to make a significant change that has been holding me back for at least 30 years. I'm great at the day to day goal-setting stuff, but I needed to understand large scale change on a deeper level, and this book was ideal for that education. At the beginning, I was struck by a central question -- when does an alteration in attitudes, beliefs, behaviour, thinking, or feeling “count” as change, and how long does it have to last in order to qualify? In shorter terms, when does a temporary change become permanent and sustainable? Chapter 2 was an eye-opener -- hidden benefits from my current approach that resist change. Not the obvious ones but more internal ones that might even seem like positive traits in someone (being strong, standing up for oneself disguising some issues with temper, for instance). And some baby step coping techniques. Chapter 3 dealt more with the conditions that allow you to transition from temporary to permanent change, almost pre-conditions in some cases. Other chapters were relatively straight-forward: the power of story-telling (chapter 4); hitting bottom in various forms (chapter 5); how you react to trauma and whether it can be a positive catalyst (chapter 6); the limits to psychotherapy (chapter 7); change through physical travel or spiritual journeys (chapter 8); moments of clarity (chapter 9); and resolving conflicts in relationships (chapter 13). The last chapter -- Why Changes Don't Often Last (Chapter 14) -- was one that I was most looking forward in the book, and while he goes into various spins and examples, most of it seems to come down to varying forms of fear. It certainly did for me, and I find the chapter fantastic for presenting it quite concisely. In the end, the price of the book is worth it just to get the 7 pages at the end, if you have time for nothing else (308-315). I managed to use it create a six-part "to do" list / game plan for the change that I've been wanting to make, and for the first time in my life, I'm doing it. I'm six months in and it seems to be holding. It'll take another 18 months to "finish", but the book helped me get there. Onward to the journey!
.
WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE:
Several chapters didn't really sing as well as the rest. Being happy (chapter 11) and transformation while helping others (12) were relatively bland, and a chapter on the importance of social capital (chapter 10) seemed almost like an afterthought.
.
DISCLOSURE:
I received no compensation, not even a free copy, in exchange for this review. I am not personal friends with the author, nor do I follow him on social media.… (mer)

I was absolutely fascinated by the stories in this book, and amazed at some of the behaviors and situations therapists have to counsel through! "The Mummy at the Dining Room Table" is a collection of the most memorable cases seen by thirty prominent therapists, and what the therapists learned about life, love, and human beings as a whole. Some of the patients are memorable to their therapists because they are in terrible situations, or have lived through traumatizing events, and risen to the challenge of picking themselves up and moving on with their lives. Others are memorable because they find the patient in a strange situation or condition and the reader can't help but laugh and be thankful that whatever they have gone through in their lifetime, it probably doesn't compare the the lives of these patients. Several actually had me laughing out loud at the craziness these people have managed to achieve in their daily lives.

While this book was an especially eye-opening look into the human mind and the vast field of psychology and other related fields, one thing I wasn't particularly happy about was the authors' apparent assumption that anyone who reads this book is familiar with the different distinctive types of group and individual therapy, hypnosis, psychology, psychiatry, and the various theories and methods practiced in these professions. The authors introduce each spotlighted therapist at the beginning of their chapter, highlighting their respective accolades and chosen therapy methods, but as a layman, it didn't matter if a therapist follows Jungian or Rogerian methods, because I have no idea what either of them entail. While the authors do attempt to describe some of the terminology used, the meanings weren't always clear to me, leaving me still confused as to what exactly this therapist plans to do to treat the patient.

Overall, however, I found this book very educational and entertaining. It's interesting to see what cases these therapists found to be the most memorable, out of the thousands they handle throughout their careers. Any reader, especially those interested in psychology, will be thrilled with the stories and insights in this book. I give it four out of five stars and recommend no one pass up the opportunity to read it.… (mer)