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Verk av Ken Kroll

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I bought "Enabling Romance" because, after ten years as a sexual being, I am looking at my first serious relationship with a non-disabled partner. I have found that despite my ability to function as a (largely) independent paraplegic woman in society, the idea of having to introduce someone completely new to my lifestyle, medical needs and physical limitations is nigh-on terrifying. I thought this book (and a couple others) might have the answers I have been seeking.

To be honest, "Enabling Romance" didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know. What it mostly did - and this is is a positive attribute - was to reinforce certain ideas and theories I already had. The chief keywords of the book would probably be "confidence" and "adaptation." The authors (a disabled male/non-disabled female couple) are adamant in their belief that with good communication, self-confidence and patience, good sexual relationships will ensue. If your partner isn't willing to join you in that pursuit, they really aren't worthy of you. All that sounds like common sense, right? Sometimes, though, it's just good to hear.

The book never goes into highly technical details, nor do the authors give much in the way of direct advice. Instead, they set up numerous potential situations - sex with a partner, sex alone, sex assisted by an attendant, etc. - and present the reader with real-life anecdotes from a variety of disabled interviewees. The authors' own story is the first to be presented; its dual viewpoint probably renders it the most well-rounded in the book. After generic scenarios the book shifts into anecdotes involving specific disabilities: people with spinal cord injuries, multiple sclerosis, blindness, hearing impairments and more.

That's about the sum of it. I was disappointed to see there were no sections specifically on dating, nor on mastering the various social pitfalls/situations that already plague young people. Additionally, I was disheartened by a lack of anecdotes from homosexual or bisexual partners (something the authors pay a little bit of lip service toward at the start). This is clearly a book for mature, straight adults with fairly "vanilla" lifestyles.

As a result, the book is quick to read and can feel a little bit lightweight in its "feel good-ness" (I only recall two anecdotes in the book that didn't end, ultimately, with a happy situation). I honestly think if you already have a decent amount of self-confidence and self-awareness, nothing in this book will come as much of a surprise. Perhaps the one thing it has done for me is raised my own courage a little bit; if these people were willing to put themselves out there, why can't I? I can't help feeling, however, that "Enabling Romance" will most help those people with disabilities who are not just starting a relationship, but in the first blossom of understanding they *have* sexuality. I might donate this book to my university library; I think it could do some real good there.
… (mer)
 
Flaggad
saroz | Jul 11, 2010 |

Statistik

Verk
2
Medlemmar
27
Popularitet
#483,027
Betyg
½ 3.7
Recensioner
1
ISBN
3