Bessel A. van der Kolk

The Body Keeps the Score is a book for psychology professionals on how to help patients deal with severe trauma. Despite its academic origins, this book has been very popular; it has spent years on the New York Times Nonfiction Bestseller list. It has also made author Bessel van der Kolk a well-recognized authority on PTSD. However, I can't agree with those who love it. While the book does contain some valuable information, it left me cold. It's incredibly detailed, with case studies that are unnecessarily graphic (at one point van der Kolk's mentor points out that he (van der Kolk) has "voyeuristic tendencies" (254-255); I believe him) and go on way too long. Dr. van der Kolk is invariably the hero of every patient's narrative.

This book made me tired. I skimmed to the end.… (mer)

After reading [b:The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity|33413909|The Deepest Well Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity|Nadine Burke Harris|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1487314041l/33413909._SY75_.jpg|54173029], this title was a natural next read. Similar subject matter but a broader scope of the study of trauma. Kolk covers data on brain activity as well as a range of various treatments for trauma survivors. Now I'm curious about EMDR and Rolfing.

Initially, I found it difficult to read because I felt 1) woefully inadequate as I reflected on my parenting style and 2) reminded of the way I was parented as a child. The next day, Krista Tippett dropped an interview with Dr. Kolk. They spoke about his decades-long work with trauma. Their conversation was relaxed and engaging. Hearing his kind, curious, warmth transformed the way I read the book. It was still challenging, but no longer distressing.

This is another excellent reference for my thesis exhibition in which I revisit the stories I'm telling myself about my family of origin; how it felt to be overlooked, silenced, ashamed of my sensitive nature, and generally disconnected from my feelings when I was told I shouldn't feel the way I felt.

"...emotion is not opposed to reason; our emotions assign value to experiences and thus are the foundation of reason. Our self-experience is the product of the balance between our ration al and our emotion al brains. When these two systems are in balance, we 'feel like ourselves'." 64

"Psychologists usually try to help people use insight and understanding to manage their behavior. However, neuroscience research shows that very few psychological problems are the result of defective understanding... When the alarm bell of the emotional brain keeps signaling that you are in danger, no amount of insight will silence it." 64

"Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives." 76

"As long as a memory is inaccessible, the mind is unable to change it. But as soon as a story starts being told, particularly if it is told repeatedly, it changes—the act of telling itself changes the tale. The mind cannot help but make meaning out of what it knows, and the meaning we make out of our lives changes how and what we remember." 193

"Trauma robs you of the feeling that you are in charge of yourself. The challenge of recovery is to reestablish ownership of your body and your mind—of your self. This means feeling free to know what you know and to fell what you feel without becoming overwhelmed, enraged, ashamed, or collapsed." 205

"...finding words where words were absent before...being able to share your deepest pain and deepest feelings...such resonance...is fundamental to healing the isolation of trauma—especially if other people in our lives have ignored or silenced us. Communicating fully is the opposite of being traumatized." 237… (mer)