Jennie Miller

As someone who can NEVER say no, I was immediately intrigued by Boundaries. Could this be the self-help book I had been looking for? Split into four sections: Me, Myself, I, The Workplace, Love and Intimacy and Your Family and Other Animals, I found the first half of the book was more useful to me than the latter half. The second half has a strong emphasis on family and relationship boundaries and although very useful to some, were not relevant to me. For completeness, I read the whole book but I will be returning in future solely to the sections where I feel I will get some benefit.

My first eye-opening moment was the drama triangle and moving on to the winner's triangle. This is SO TRUE! I immediately found that I was mentally placing myself, friends and colleagues on my triangles. So the book was doing its job already! This is the main thing that I took away from reading Boundaries, how often I found myself on the drama triangle without even realising it. I think once you recognise something, you can change it so this is absolutely invaluable for me.

Another priceless tool in Boundaries is the debating table: a chance for the real me to have a voice where nobody will shoot it down. You're only arguing/debating with other personas within yourself, after all. I honestly think that we are all multi-faceted: we put on different faces for our family, friends and colleagues. What would happen if these faces got in a room together. Who would win? Which one is the real you?

Although there are blank pages for this very purpose, I couldn't bring myself to write in the book. Looking back, I wish I'd made some notes in a separate notebook as I think this is really beneficial to the whole mindset of setting boundaries.

Boundaries has set a good foundation from which I can work on. For me, the first step was recognising myself. Now that I have done this and when I have REALLY looked at myself, I will return to the book and see how I can implement change.

Although I didn't have a huge 'eureka' moment, Boundaries gave me something to work on. It won't make changes happen overnight but it will definitely make you think through each situation before jumping in with both feet. After all, what's the worst that could happen if you say 'NO'? Try it and find out!

I chose to read an ARC and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.… (mer)