Julie Anne Peters (1952–2023)

This book was a reread, I first read this when I was in highschool and it’s refreshing to read this again, At the time I didn’t understand why Antonia’s mother was being neglectful but now that I’m older, I understand now. I also love how this is all WOMEN who are the biggest driving force for Antonia’s life and not the men, makes it more impactful to see older/same age women try and help Antonia and her brothers through a difficult time. I do wonder about Ram tho even though he was mentioned a lot and also Jazz’s mother was awesome to some degrees as well. I hope there is a sequel to this story but if not that’s ok as well.… (mer)

By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead/Julie Anne Peters Suicide is a topic of immense fascination to me, but I just wasn't satisfied by the way this book was written. This story felt very contrived at most points.
 
Daelyn is fifteen years old and planning her third attempt at suicide, using a website that has her wait twenty-three days. I'm really not sure what this website was supposed to be, why 23 days was picked, or what happened to other users, but it seemed like a way to show how Daelyn was at the point where she was pretty selfish and felt like only the things that happened to her matter.
 
The methodical way she went through ways she could commit suicide was intriguing and shed light on her character. Hearing about her past through her posting on the forums was revealing as to her motivations and feelings, but I still just wasn't able to connect with her.
 
Santana and Emily were the only characters I really liked in this story. Santana ad his rat were a lot of fun, but I really didn't understand their fascination with a girl who wouldn't speak. It was very contrived. Had she given him any bones, I would have appreciated their budding friendship, but I just don't understand his motivations. Emily, on the other hand, was a breath of fresh air and I think she could do more for Daelyn than Daelyn for her.
 
In a way, this reminded me of a version of Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, except that this book would only resonate with younger readers and Speak is timeless.
 
I won't talk about my frustration with the ending.
 
I recommend this for younger readers, but for me this just felt a bit too intentional.… (mer)