KI Thompson

At first, I didn't want to like Heart Of The Matter. Both main characters' insecurities, especially Ellen's unrelenting weight obsession, often saddle the romance with way too much emotional baggage. It makes me so sad and mad when likable women are always so down on themselves about their appearance. Ellen's tightly held conviction she needs to change her physical looks to be accepted by women like Sandra (a woman she half-heartedly dates while trying not to pine for Kate) could be exasperating if not for how so many of us know exactly what it's like to doubt ourselves so much.

Another contributing factor that keeps things real is the writing: "The veil of invisibility that so often came over Ellen descended quickly. For no reason, she felt rejected. A woman she thought attractive had glanced her way and found her wanting. If her life suddenly ended, she would never experience the one thing missing from her life--love." KT Thompson really makes your heart ache for Ellen and her pretty much paralyzing inability to connect with others with any kind of confidence.

The constant back and forth of "does she like me? oh, she couldn't possibly like me!" may be irritating to some readers, but I find that the ping pong of it all only makes the moments where Ellen and Kate interact during their meals and trip to Virginia that much sweeter and touching.

There are some truly great moments in Heart Of The Matter, like when Kate shares her philosophy with Ellen one night when they're alone together: "Romance is when the woman you love consumes you. She is your everything--all that matters, all that ever was and ever will be. You will gladly endure anything, any hardship, to avoid inflicting a second of pain on her. And you will love her until the day you die, never taking a moment of being with her for granted." It's one of the best scenes and _finally_ sets things straight on the fears that have plagued both women from the start...or so it seems.

Whether you end up loving or not loving Heart Of The Matter may very well depend on where you're coming from...and whether you like your love stories with deeply human and flawed characters. Having read more than my share of cutsey, cocky lesfic where things fall into place with way too convenient plot devices, I have to say I absolutely adore this one!… (mer)