Who will be eaten first?
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Hoorah! By showing my devotedness to the Elder Gods, they have granted me insanity! I SHALL BE EATEN FIRST!! HAHAHAHAHHAHHA-cough-cough-choke-choke-insert-more-evil-laughter-here-!
ETA: *starts handing out copies of Necronomicon on a street corner to all who pass by and will take it, preaching the comings of the Elder Gods, they-who-shall-eat-us-all. Join me! Be the second to be eaten, for I shall be eaten first, and all-man-kind shall follow after me, and lo! the Elder Gods, they-who-shall-eat-us-all, will then move on to all the beasts of the lands, and birds of the skies, and they shall see that all was good, and they shall exalt me, the Prophet of the Elder Gods, they-who-shall-eat-us-all, for being first, and for providing them with the beginnings of such a delectable feast, and they shall look to the oceans for the fish, but lo! they shall not eat of them, for the fish have been the hospitable-care-takers of the Elder Gods, they-who-shall-eat-us-all, and more importantly of the great Cthulhu, he-who-shall-lead-they-who-shall-eat-us-all! Please! For the sake of your sanity, or preferably insanity, join me! Read this book of horrible evil, Necronomicon, and realize within yourselves the joy of being the second to be eaten!*
May I please offer you my unwashed, long hair? It makes great addition to other foods you have.
Sorry, I'm afraid that's all I can contribute for the crock pot.
Except for the bald guy there under the altar - little bugger just crapped his pants and stained the Place of Homage and Pain.