The Prize: A Collection of Stories (utgåvan 1999)

Most of those months I've spent alone or so I thought until I realized I wasn't. I had someone. I had me.

When I drove the Porsche I felt wealthy. Dollar wealthy. Like the world was looking at me. I justified my soul with repeated tales of why I deserved to own it.

If there had ever been doubt in my head whether this car was right for me... ...it disappeared when I realized it had no reverse gear.

There must be something good to come from this. Somewhere a hidden gift a lesson learned.

That's the gift isn't it. Realized now at this moment. All the love I felt for everything in and about that car are feelings I still have. Feelings that are a part of me a part of what I am. My car was never anything but a car. And a car was all they took. They couldn't take away my feelings.

There's this man that I know who makes me think deep thoughts about myself. It's not that he asks. He never has. He doesn't say it with words. But there's a look in his eyes and a way that he smiles that make me ask myself questions inside. He takes each day in a simple way. Some say he has nothing but then they see this look about his face and know there's something special about this man. It's as if he's learned secrets that very few know or hold the key to some wisdom he's found. This same look is shared by others I've met and I know each has found it alone. It's not money or power or position he holds... ...he just celebrates being alive. The merchants on the streets who sell their souls and the frightened ones who hide inside could change their lives if they had what he has but they stay on their merry-go-rides. Sometimes he feels guilty I think for the way that he lives for his contentment just to be and to feel. Yet he must know it's the world that he owns and all that he has is for free.  Like the feel of the sand on the beach when it's warm and the nights when he touches the sky and when the songs that he finds and keeps giving away come back as a memory. It's not really a secret you see that he's found. It's something each of us has. It gets lost sometimes or just covered up or we think someone takes it away. So I'll hold on to the thoughts that he's made me think and I'll be unafraid to grow. For that's step one and the first thing to learn if I want to be all I can be. I'll never know all the thoughts of this man this friend who touched my life. Because one day he'll leave. He'll just go away and I'll never see him again. But he touched my mind and I know inside that I too know the truths that he's found. That TO LIVE is the game and I've already won... ...because LIFE LIFE itself... ...is the prize.