Satan’s Speech, Straight from the Horse’s Mouth: We, the peepel o the Demokratik Triumvirate o Gehenna, dik liar hearwith that our way o life to liv high off the hog is thretened by a most ominus enimi. Our enimi stirredup a hornet’s nest by attaking us. Even tho we did every effort to strike a happi midium by soft-soping them, to bring them into ciphilizacion rom dog’s life, through camu flaj and chikenery they attaked us blind as a bat with a bolt rom the blu hitting us be lo the belt. They played wid fair their for ar at appoint o no return.When I sow the smok coming owt o the twin towels, I said to the peepel o Emir aka that where their’s smok their’s fayr. Whatasnake in the grass owr enimi is. But we have some mezhure to blaim owr selves, sins wes weepd under the rug God’s unfailing word witch says, spar the rod and spoil the child. Our ounding dads said that onesti is the best police. But I tell yea that in the new age onesti is the worst police, there for I have ad viced our central inteligent agenci to fallo dis new police.We will no longer take the bacc seat in dis ishoo. We will no longer take any wooden nikels. But we will stik to our guns, even tho we stik our nok out.I discussed the matter with owr secretry ostate hoo was mad as a wet hen. Sins two hats ar better than one, I also sot cown sil rom owr secretry odefens hoo was mad as a hatter. But ourvice presi dent was cool as a cucumber and was cooking with gas. His ad vice was to cool it and beat round the bush. So I cooled it and de cided not to bull in a china shop. He said daunt thro the blak baby out with the bath water. He said to kip my shirt on. He said daunt kill the goos that lays the golden eggs. When I sow dat he is vizer than any vizier be for Him, I de cided to kip him in house with me all along.I burned the candel at both ends and remembered that Rom was not bilt in a day. And sins dis was greek to me, so be for jumping off the deep end I took it to God. I tot dat man’s extremiti is God’s uppertuniti. Then at the drop ave hat I de cided, as yur trusted leather, that we will not be sitting doks. Better be envid then pitid. Nothing venchurd, nothing cained: Itill bi fist or famin. And dbest way to face our enimi is to dik liar war against it widowth mincing the worth. When the going gets tuff, the tuff gets going. I’ll be right back!If you want to keep a smile on your face, LOVEDA is the answer! Ask your doctor to prescribe LOVEDA for you! Approved by our Lord’s Food and Drug Administration, LOVEDA is the choice of most doctors. You will lose inches, acquire the ability to move using your own feet, repel morning breath—all with one pill. Elderly patients may develop psychosis. Taking LOVEDA increases your risk of death or stroke. It may cause suicidal thoughts in adolescents and young adults. 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Take LOVEDA now, before it’s too late. Developed by Eternity Pharmaceuticals.I coccion u, fello denizens of Hell, that The war agains tterrorism will not be a peace o kaik. Buttit ill be like pulling tit. It ill cost arm and a leg. A cat in gloves caches gnom ice. Butt we will lower the boom on owr enimi, will gyv demn the third degree, and will never again lok the barn door ater the hoars is out. Emir aka rom the loman on the totem pol to the hayman on the totem pol will sho them that owr noz is knot out o joint, and we ars not over the hill yet.There arstil many traials our nayshun must ace. But as our ounding dad George Buchanan said, exsample is better dan precept; God helps them hoo help themselves. There for we will shove owr enimi owr di terminacion. But we shood not cuwnt owr chikens before they hach. We shood batten down the haches. We will bate the bullet, they will bate the dust.Nok on wood, I no the ropes. We will sho them the cold sholdier av emir aka. We will keep their noz to the grindston. We will hunt them Everestile; we will kill their leathers and make shur that there side o the stor is ne’er herd. Dead men tell no tails. Day say dat we lied to them. Isay, ask no queschens and here no lies. Even do we will skait on tin ice, we wont our enimi to no that the ski is the limit o owr potentsheol. I’ll be right back!Investment opportunities span planet earth and so do we. Global investment opportunities are out there if you know where to look. We at Dick Sacho know where to look. We have over 70 years of experience evaluating global equities in bull and bear markets alike. With investment professionals on the ground in over 155 countries, we offer investors an unparalleled perspective on the increasingly cherished and exponentially growing world of global investment. Our goal is to provide our investors with outstanding returns. Integrity and honesty are the heart chambers of our business. We aggressively seek to expand our client relationships, and when we fall short of our promised goals, we employ our henchmen in the Black House and Capitol Hill to occupy other countries. Through our longstanding business relationship with the SIA, we ensure the ascendance of favorable business partners to power in all countries where we have an economic stake. We regularly receive confidential information from Satan and guide our clients accordingly. Significant employee stock ownership in our firm consolidates the interests of our employees and shareholders. Call 1.888.888.8888. Your future mansions and year-round worldwide vacations, guaranteed by our Lord’s security agencies, are just a phone call away.Aris Total once said that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. So we will cach one in the hand and let loos two in the bush. We hav shon them that beggars can be choosers and the blak shipo’owr amili can lid them by the nose. These foks mistook our calm be for oper asian nord storm. My kelleag in Elizabeth City has arready de claired that we will call there bluff and maik them under stand that those hoo **** hit the side ave barn **** fite city hall. My killeag sad date sins we have a spatial real asian sheep, we will not have to garri all the burden on our sholdiers. I told him dat it takes two to tango. A brotel shard is a brotel haved. My killeag said not to wory about the vine drinkers, sins one Englishman can kill three freshmen. As u see, we always see eie to eie with imp or taunt tissues and dont bilive in old wiwe’s tails. A woman’s place is in the home, a sholdier’s place is in the front says my wife. God’s worth says he hoo can does; he hoo cannot, tiches. Our enimis ar playing genterman. But when Adam delved and Eve span, hoo was the genderman?God bless Emir aka and all the reedom-loving nacients o the word hoose ars with us. Dos hoo ars not widows ars againstus. Itisa Time tested wiz dome that birds ave father bloc together. But we shood never for get dat politics maiks strang bedfellas.God belss Emir aka.