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A Time to Heal: The Road to Recovery for Adult Children of Alcoholics

av Timmen L. Cermak

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47Ingen/inga537,674 (3)Ingen/inga
Discusses how growing up with alcoholic parents can lead to difficulty in maintaining relationships, depression, alcoholism and other drug problems, compulsive preoccupation with sex, food, work, or spending, child abuse, alienation, and feelings of worthlessness. Shows how twelve step programs can help heal the wounds, change the behavior problems, and allow children of alcoholics to find wholeness, and happiness.… (mer)
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Everything Has Its Time

To everything there is a season,
 A time for every purpose under heaven:

time to be born,
 And a time to die;
A time to plant,
 And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
 And a time to heal:
A time to break down.
 And a time to build up:
time to weep,
 And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn.
 And a time to dance:
time to cast away stones.
 And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace.
 And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain
 And a time to lose:
A time to keep.
 And a time to throw away:
A time to tear,
 And a time to sew:
A time to keep silence.
 And a time to speak;
time to love,
 And a time to hate;
A time of war,
 And a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes. Chapter 3. Verses 1-8
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Introduction: Huck and I

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn leaves no doubt about Mr. Finn’s [Huck’s father] alcoholism. “Every time he got money he got drunk; and every time he got drunk he raised Cain around town; and every time he raised Cain he got jailed.” He drank so much that his face was drained of color and white—“not like another man's white, but a white to make a body sick, a white to make a body's flesh crawl.” He drank until he hallucinated and lost all memory. In one frightening episode, Huck witnessed his father screaming about imaginary snakes crawling up his legs and biting him on the neck. Later that night, Huck relates, “He chased me round and round the place with a clasp-knife, calling me the Angel of Death and saying he would kill me.”

Huck’s father was a violent man who beat Huck until the boy was covered with welts. He was a bitter man who blamed all of his misfortune on others. He was a spiteful man who resented Huck’s “school learning”; he vowed to take Huck down a peg for putting on airs and tore up an award his son had received from school. He was a public disgrace, the acknowledged town drunk. When a new judge in town naively took Mr. Finn into his home to reform him, Huck’s father promptly stole enough money to get drunk, rolled off the porch roof, broke his arm in two places, and almost froze to death before sunup. Today, we recognize Mr. Finn as a very sick man. The disease of alcoholism ruined his life and led him to a premature death.

In his drunken view of the world, Mr. Finn saw Huck as his personal possession. He terrorized Huck to get drinking money (which Huck quickly gave him in order to avoid getting a beating). Whenever Huck showed any independence, his father literally held him hostage. At times he would not let Huck out of his sight for days; at other times he would simply take off, leaving the boy locked up in their remote cabin. Huck had no right to exist, except to make his father’s life easier. When the widow who had cared for Huck during his father’s yearlong absence asked to have protective custody of him, the courts refused to interfere. The judge said that he did not want to separate families if he could avoid it.

Huckleberry Finn was the child of an alcoholic (CoA), and this experience profoundly affected his life. Beneath his bravado was fear. Under his bubbling enthusiasm was a boy who knew enough depression and loneliness to almost wish for death at times. He suffered from guilt far out of proportion to anything he had done, and he felt responsible for others’ misfortune. Whenever his life lacked drama, Huck would become bored and would long for change of any kind. He lived behind a facade of fabrication so pervasive that telling the truth felt strange. His strategy for getting through life was to escape, to keep out of quarrels, to let other people have their own way, and to keep the roots of commitment to anyone or anything from sinking too deeply. Throughout it all, he wrestled with his own sense of self-worth.
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Discusses how growing up with alcoholic parents can lead to difficulty in maintaining relationships, depression, alcoholism and other drug problems, compulsive preoccupation with sex, food, work, or spending, child abuse, alienation, and feelings of worthlessness. Shows how twelve step programs can help heal the wounds, change the behavior problems, and allow children of alcoholics to find wholeness, and happiness.

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