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It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene
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I first started exploring Dominance and submission with my friend Bailey. We went camping one summer in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, and in the dark of the tent we shared our secret fantasies. I told him about wanting to be controlled in a sexual manner, although I didn't really know what that meant. Bailey knew. To my extreme embarrassment he ordered me to masturbate, right there in the tent, right there in front of him. Then, when I was just short of orgasm, he made me stop. When I had cooled down, he started all over again. This feeling of being so close and then not being allowed release created an erotic pain, a submission that thrilled me. I wanted more. This would be the experience that turned me on to the world of BDSM: Bondage & Discipli≠ Dominance & Submission; and Sadism & Masochism When Bailey and I started looking for information on what we were doing, we found the book Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns, which is still my favorite, not only for its content, but also for its lighthearted approach. Today there are many books on safety, apparatus, and erotica, but few that explore the power exchange from an emotional and spiritual point of view. Yet, it is this transformational aspect that makes my heart and body sing.
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