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Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect…
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Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love… (utgåvan 2013)

av Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (Författare)

MedlemmarRecensionerPopularitetGenomsnittligt betygDiskussioner
1041203,641 (3.5)Ingen/inga
Children need love.  Parents need respect.  It is as simple and complex as that! When frustrated with an unresponsive child, a parent doesn't declare, "You don't love me." Instead the parent asserts, "You are being disrespectful right now." A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts. When upset a child does not whine, "You don't respect me." Instead, a child pouts, "You don't love me." A child needs to feel loved, especially during disputes.  But here's the rub: An unloved child (or teen) negatively reacts in a way that feels disrespectful to a parent. A disrespected parent negatively reacts in a way that feels unloving to the child.  This dynamic gives birth to the FAMILY CRAZY CYCLE.  So how is one to break out of this cycle? Best-selling author Emerson Eggerichs has studied the family dynamic for more than 30 years, having his Ph.D. in Child and Family Ecology. As a senior pastor for nearly two decades, Eggerichs builds on a foundation of strong biblical principles, walking the reader through an entirely new way to approach the family dynamic. For instance, God reveals ways to defuse the craziness with our children from preschooler to teen, plus how to motivate them to obey and how to deal with them when they don't. In the Bible, God has spoken specifically to parents on how to parent. This book is about that revelation.… (mer)
Medlem:mikepeterson24
Titel:Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need
Författare:Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (Författare)
Info:Thomas Nelson (2013), 288 pages
Samlingar:Ditt bibliotek
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Taggar:Ingen/inga

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Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need av Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

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The application of the love & respect paradigm to the parent and child relationship.

While it is helpful to already be familiar with the Love & Respect concept, Emerson does well at applying the same type of paradigm to parents and children. The crazy, energizing, and rewarded cycle remain; the same fundamental issues are present.

In this paradigm, whereas girls/women still primarily yearn for love and boys/men still primarily yearn for respect, children in general yearn for love and parents in general yearn for respect. And so the crazy cycle features a child's lack of feeling loved fuels disrespectful behavior which fuels parents feeling disrespected and responding in unloving ways; the energizing cycle features a parent's love motivating a child's respect; the rewarded cycle involves a parent showing love despite a child's respect.

As is appropriate, the responsibility is placed upon the parents to catalyze the energizing and rewarded cycle. Emerson encourages them to stop and think about what is motivating disrespectful behavior before responding and reacting. The energizing cycle is defined by GUIDES: giving, understanding, instructing, disciplining, encouraging, and supplicating. Emerson provides recommendations for each element and how they work together to empower effective parenting.

Yet, in the end, as Emerson points out, we do not have the consistency nor the strength to be perfect parents. He encourages dependence on God and His strength (but not as an excuse for inactivity). He has a long discussion about the difference between the process and the result/outcome, and offers wisdom regarding how one is to understand children as free will moral agents and thus not always and entirely reflections on their raising. I would quibble only a little with his suppression of Proverbs 22:6; while it is true that a too facile an understanding and application of the passage has caused good people unnecessary grief, the principle does remain true. I have yet to meet anyone who has not been profoundly shaped by how they were raised and still maintain continuity in many of the emphases and shared bonding experiences of childhood, even if those aren't the most important ones the parents wanted to impart to their children.

A truly great parenting resource. Worthy of consideration. ( )
  deusvitae | Jul 14, 2016 |
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Children need love.  Parents need respect.  It is as simple and complex as that! When frustrated with an unresponsive child, a parent doesn't declare, "You don't love me." Instead the parent asserts, "You are being disrespectful right now." A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts. When upset a child does not whine, "You don't respect me." Instead, a child pouts, "You don't love me." A child needs to feel loved, especially during disputes.  But here's the rub: An unloved child (or teen) negatively reacts in a way that feels disrespectful to a parent. A disrespected parent negatively reacts in a way that feels unloving to the child.  This dynamic gives birth to the FAMILY CRAZY CYCLE.  So how is one to break out of this cycle? Best-selling author Emerson Eggerichs has studied the family dynamic for more than 30 years, having his Ph.D. in Child and Family Ecology. As a senior pastor for nearly two decades, Eggerichs builds on a foundation of strong biblical principles, walking the reader through an entirely new way to approach the family dynamic. For instance, God reveals ways to defuse the craziness with our children from preschooler to teen, plus how to motivate them to obey and how to deal with them when they don't. In the Bible, God has spoken specifically to parents on how to parent. This book is about that revelation.

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