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The Pastor's Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and…
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The Pastor's Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity (utgåvan 2014)

av Barnabas Piper (Författare), John Piper (Förord)

MedlemmarRecensionerPopularitetGenomsnittligt betygDiskussioner
1674125,218 (3.83)Ingen/inga
The Only One Facing As Much Pressure As the Pastor is ... The Pastor's Kid nbsp; Dad may be following God's call, but the Pastor's kids (PKs) are just following mom and dad. Often to devastating results. nbsp; Barnabas Piper - son of Pastor and bestselling author John Piper - has experienced the challenges of being a PK first-hand. With empathy, humor, and personal stories, he addresses the pervasive assumptions, identity issues and accelerated scrutiny PKs face. nbsp; But more than just stating the problems - he shares the one thing a PK needs above all else (as do their pastor/father and church) is to live in true freedom and wholeness.… (mer)
Medlem:Paul_Schoenfeld
Titel:The Pastor's Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity
Författare:Barnabas Piper (Författare)
Andra författare:John Piper (Förord)
Info:David C Cook (2014), 162 pages
Samlingar:Logos
Betyg:
Taggar:Logos

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The Pastor's Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity av Barnabas Piper

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I bought copies of The Pastor's Kid for my two oldest children a few months ago. I also got a copy for myself, which sat unread until just a few weeks back. I'm glad I picked it up.

Barnabas Piper does a terrific job of transporting the reader into the world of the pastor's kid. As the son of famed pastor John Piper, Barnabas has a unique perspective. His writing, however, is not wholly autobiographical. He interviewed many PKs along the way, gathering perspective from them on the trappings of growing up in a ministry family.

As a pastor, parts of this book were heartbreaking to read. I saw my own failures in black and white. Raising kids in a fishbowl isn't easy. The church imbibes a culture that makes the rearing of PKs almost impossible. "The cultural expectations on pastors are mostly unbiblical, entirely impractical, and generally downright stupid" (98). For Piper, pastors are bound to fail in parental obligations; the key is how they will respond. He says the only healthy response is grace. "For many PKs, there is a serious disconnect between what they see from their own dad and what he says about Jesus. Jesus is loving, gracious, forgiving, and sacrificial. Dad is none of those things. Jesus accepts you as you are. Dad demands more. Jesus forgives sins. Dad harps on them. Jesus makes us white as snow. Dad finds every stain. Jesus loves children and is joyful. Dad holes up in his office and keeps a stern countenance" (77-78). The key, Piper says, is "grace. That is what the PK needs to see, to know more than anything" (78).

One of the most helpful sections of the book was his discussion about how to put grace into action. The practical advice included leaving sermons in the pulpit, conversing instead of counseling, and finding a hobby. He also offers advice on how a church can aid in creating a culture that is friendly to PKs. This section alone makes this a worthy book for deacons and lay elders.

The final chapter of the book expresses a hopefulness about the future of PKs. After the gut-punches of previous chapters, I needed this. I saw rays of hope shine through on my children. Their experience in a ministry household is unique. That setting is a preparation ground for great things in their future. Barnabas Piper sees this truth; I hope they will too. ( )
  RobSumrall | Jun 20, 2017 |
Fantastic work of honest appraisal of the pastor's children and their specific needs and challenges. I have four of my own. My oldest is currently reading it now. Spoken by an insider, so it has much that is subjective, but Piper has also listened to many PKs and has a selection of observations from them that he intersperses in the work.

Highly recommended for Pastors and their children!
  Theodore.Zachariades | Oct 28, 2016 |
As a former pastor’s kid (and assistant pastor’s kid, and later a missionary’s kid), this book intrigued me. As a former member of John Piper’s church, this book had special relevance for me. The author is Barnabus Piper, one of Pastor John’s sons. As a Christian who is recovering from legalism, this book was especially helpful for me.

In "The Pastor’s Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity" (David C. Cook, 2014), Barnabus opens up about the struggles of growing up in a fish bowl. The author do As a former pastor’s kid (and assistant pastor’s kid, and later a missionary’s kid), this book intrigued me. As a former member of John Piper’s church, this book had special relevance for me. The author is Barnabus Piper, one of Pastor John’s sons. As a Christian who is recovering from legalism, this book was especially helpful for me.

In "The Pastor’s Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity" (David C. Cook, 2014), Barnabus opens up about the struggles of growing up in a fish bowl. The author doesn’t claim to be a guru, but he is a pastor’s kid who struggled and erred, but also grew and matured and looks back on his time as a pastor’s kid and feels the need to share his experience both for the benefit of pastors but especially for the help of fellow pastor’s kids who may not have turned out as well as he. There are a lot of pastor’s kids, and some of them have jettisoned their parents’ faith and are jarred by the experience. Other’s may not yet have come to grips with why they struggle so much in particular ways.

This book explores the unique challenges of pastor’s kids and yet doesn’t burn the parents and blame them for all the problems. Pastor John actually writes the foreword and while Barnabus spares no punches, one gets the sense that their relationship is in-tact and both respect the other.

This is part memoir, and part self-help. And it isn’t all Piper’s memoir, as he shares stories from countless pastor’s kids he interviewed in preparation for the book. Some of them are not in the faith anymore, and it does us good to wonder why. Barnabus’ prescription calls for grace and care for children, and a proper set of expectations. He also gives hope to those who have been burned, or are wondering what they can possibly due at this stage in the game.

I particularly appreciated his emphasis on legalism. This excerpt resonates well with me:

"Not everything is right or wrong, true or false, yes or no. The PK needs some maybes and sort ofs. If every question is answered in black and white and every decision judged as right or wrong, the PK never learns to make value decisions. In fact, he never learns values at all. He just learns to dance the morality two-step and avoid getting out of step with what’s ‘good’ or ‘true.’ If every question is given a concrete answer and no room is left for exploration or doubt, the PK is forced to either acquiesce or bury his doubts where they can fester and rot his faith." (p. 83)

I listened to the Christianaudio version of the book. This was extra special in that Barnabus Piper himself was the one reading his book. This made listening to the book more poignant as his passion for his book’s message was evident.

This book is well-written and preaches an important message. I don’t know of any other similar book that is designed to both help those who have been hurt, and equip those in the ministry now who are raising another generation of children. Cautions are raised and challenges issued, but grace and hope pervade the book. This is must reading for churches, pastors and of course, pastor’s kids.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Christianaudio. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review. ( )
  bobhayton | Jan 29, 2015 |
This is a book that really hits on important issues. There are times, however, where it misses as well. As a whole, it is a must-read.

Piper is clear with his intention in writing:

My aim in writing this book is threefold. First, I want to speak for PKs, not as an expert observer or master researcher, but as one of them....I want to give voice to the PK who doesn’t know what to do with his challenges.
Second, I want to speak to pastors. Ministers of the gospel, your children are in an enormously challenging position. You are in an equally challenging position. While the prudent among you know this, I fear you may not fully understand the depths of the struggle they face (or will face)....
Third, I write to the church, because the congregation has more responsibility than it knows to care for and ease the burden of the pastor and his family. Too often the church has fostered a culture that puts enormous pressure on the pastor and his family....It is people, individually, who contribute to the burden PKs carry, and I hope this book opens some eyes to things that need to change.

Piper is at his best when he is sharing the heart of a PK. He gives a beautifully heartbreaking portrait of what it is like to grow up with a plethora of plank-filled eyes focused directly on you and whatever speck can be discerned(or, if need be, created) in your character and life. Piper speaks with anecdotal authority, both his and other PKs he interacted with in researching and writing, and gives a clear picture of what the child of a pastor feels and experiences.


The reality that PKs are normal humans (as much as anyone is “normal”) is the drumbeat of this book in some ways. I keep bringing it up because so much of the expectation and assumption for us is abnormal.


Piper’s comparison of a PKs life to a pressure cooker and to a fish bowl were both quite informative and, for me at least, quite convicting. I have been one to treat PKs with improper scrutiny and impossible expectations (in fairness, I extended this courtesy to the Pastor as well!). And I noticed that, apart from the congregational scrutiny, many of the issues he brings up are quite applicable to the child of any dedicated Christian parent—which makes this book that much more valuable and necessary.

One telling aspect of this work, and the place from where a lot of the troubles he illumines actually seem to spring, is the assumed aspect of 1 church 1 pastor. Many of the issues he addresses are directly related to a lack of genuine plurality in leadership. If there is one pastor(either practically with one pastor/elder ordained for the church or functionally where there is a group elders but one person dominating the pulpit and thus being “the pastor” in most minds) then many of the complaints Piper addresses (scrutiny, celebrity, and time/work hours, specifically) would be greatly alleviated. I am not sure why Piper did not address this being an issue but I assume it is due to the fact that the primary focus of the book is on the PKs experience and most churches hold to this dangerous and unbiblical model so most PKs know this as a reality.

The Pastor’s Kid is a great book but it is not perfect. I think it is at its weakest when Piper begins dealing with what the PK “needs”. Piper, oftentimes, seems to elevate his/other PKs experience over Scripture(even in the places where he gives very good counsel, which is quite often). The tone and the content felt like a young man sitting down with his father and saying, “This is what I needed.” While there is much benefit in that, there are also limitations to this type of conversation—including an overemphasis on felt needs to the expense of what is genuinely necessary as revealed in Scripture and confirmed in a broader view of experience.

Where this book shines it shines brightly—very brightly. Piper takes the reader on a tour of the heart and experience of a pastor’s kid and this is a must read for pastors, ministry leaders, and church members in general. Piper offers a warning in the introduction that is worth noting.

Lastly, my intent in this book is not to hurt anyone, but hurt may happen. Pastors may feel attacked. Churches may feel criticized. PKs may feel exposed or even misrepresented. Please know this: I respect those in pastoral ministry, I am devoted to Christ’s church, and as a PK, all I want to do is be a voice to bring about healthy change.

I think this book could go quite far in bringing about healthy change—especially if church members will read this book, learn from the experience shared, pray for pastor, pray for his wife and kids, and love them all as you love yourself. This is an insightful work that will cause a good bit of introspection and repentance and hopefully lead many to more graciously and lovingly engage the children of the men the God has given to love and lead his churches.

**I received a review copy of this work from the publisher through Netgalley ( )
  joshrskinner | Jul 30, 2014 |
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The Only One Facing As Much Pressure As the Pastor is ... The Pastor's Kid nbsp; Dad may be following God's call, but the Pastor's kids (PKs) are just following mom and dad. Often to devastating results. nbsp; Barnabas Piper - son of Pastor and bestselling author John Piper - has experienced the challenges of being a PK first-hand. With empathy, humor, and personal stories, he addresses the pervasive assumptions, identity issues and accelerated scrutiny PKs face. nbsp; But more than just stating the problems - he shares the one thing a PK needs above all else (as do their pastor/father and church) is to live in true freedom and wholeness.

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