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The Wild Oats Project: One Woman's Midlife…
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The Wild Oats Project: One Woman's Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost (utgåvan 2015)

av Robin Rinaldi (Författare)

MedlemmarRecensionerPopularitetGenomsnittligt betygOmnämnanden
483433,773 (2.83)1
"A memoir of one woman's year of an open marriage, during which she explored everything she'd ever wondered about sex but hadn't tried"--
Medlem:cwilson1223
Titel:The Wild Oats Project: One Woman's Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost
Författare:Robin Rinaldi (Författare)
Info:Sarah Crichton Books (2015), Edition: F First Edition, 304 pages
Samlingar:Ditt bibliotek
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The Wild Oats Project: One Woman's Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost av Robin Rinaldi

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An adolescent freak-out I saw this book being reviewed here and there and I admit, it sounded quite intriguing. Woman decides to take the "weekdays" off from her marriage and then go home to her husband on the weekends. How did we get here? What drove her to this decision? Why does she think she should do this after her husband firmly, assertively, definitively tells her that no, he does not want children, or even one child.
 
I wanted to give it a shot, I wanted to read it so I could know for myself and actually review it. Unfortunately, the negative hype is definitely on the mark. The writing is fairly compelling: other books that I have read where the wife details her infidelity and/or her sexual escapades while not in a committed relationship tend to drag on or become soft porn or just cause my eyes to glaze over. I could not really identify or find sympathy with Rinaldi, but I couldn't help but read what was coming next.
 
But it's hard not to judge. I am disappointed by the supposed slut-shaming comments the author claims to have gotten, although sadly it is not not surprising. However, it's really hard to root for her and I found it impossible to understand what leap of logic made her think that this would make her happy or would fill the hole that came from not having a child. I would have thought this would have been something that this would have been hammered out *before* she married her husband, and he is not happy when she tells him test results tells her she's pregnant (it turns out to be false positive or she may have miscarried, she does not know).
 
It feels like her idea of an "open marriage" was dragging out the end of their marriage needlessly and for a painfully long time. It was deeply ironic that her husband, Scott admits that he had slept with married women, cheated on previous partners, etc. but admitted to her that he killed his "wildness" in order to be faithful to the author. I understand people change of the course of a marriage, but it just seems that these two really were not a good fit.
 
Ultimately, it feels like narcissistic drivel. Would people find this book "brave" or "empowering" if she were a man? I really do not think so. She talks about how that she thinks the house she left behind feels and looks empty, despite all the items she left and and the arrival of a new roommate. To Rinaldi, the place does not come "back to life in my eyes" until Scott finds a new girlfriend. 
 
Sorry, but what is this? Maybe it was my reading, but overall the book struck me as a adolescent temper tantrum that I've seen happen when a friend of mine got out of a relationship that had gone on too long without a severance or a marriage (which would have ended in divorce, honestly). The friend (who was fairly religious) began to go out clubbing, trying certain drugs, dressing differently, etc. In this case, the author began sleeping with people other than her spouse.
 
Nothing against open marriages or polyamorous relationships, but I think the author really has other issues going on other than what she wrote about and I pity Scott and/or anyone who may be interested in entering a relationship of any sort or degree with her. Library if you're curious. ( )
  HoldMyBook | Feb 11, 2018 |
Although I couldn't generate much sympathy for her particular position (I haven't the slightest desire for children, and, gee, a wonderful life in San Francisco, amazing career, hunky husband - that sucks!), the story of her explorations was very thought-provoking. As a single person around the same age with some similarly fluid concepts of what relationships do or don't mean, the book rocked my world. ( )
  yvonnea | Jan 20, 2017 |
Ive never encountered a stronger visceral reaction of sheer disgust toward a book or story before this memoir.

Neither sexuality, nor being a parent, are the quintessence of womanhood or discovering yourself.

I've read so many reviews calling this honest or brave. Brave, no. It is not brave to have sex with a dozen lovers to be able to say, "I have lived" on her future death bed, all in response to her husband's vasectomy ending her dream of having children.

It is not empowering. Her husband felt blackmailed into the agreement and rules, rules of which she promptly broke (e.g. safe sex out the window). It is nothing short of selfish, misguided, and sad.

She states of the many things she learned with this experiment that she owed her ex-husband an apology. Then promptly justifies her position of why she had to do this. She was not contrite in how much hurt she put on her (now) ex-husband, she was justifying both her midlife crisis and reasoning for destroying her marriage.

This was a failure on several levels, the biggest of which was thinking she could find herself through sex or motherhood. As a mother and wife, I have had countless conversations with women who discover themselves, myself included, by peeling away the things and labels that people used to define me, to then see to the core of who I was, or they were inside. This is epic soul searching and never once included my identity was defined by sex or husband, partner, children or employment, money in the bank or how good I looked.

This memoir is not brave but I will admit, it was honest: burn down whomever gets in the way in her honest and very selfish, narcissistic justification. Sad, but true. ( )
  fueledbycoffee | Mar 31, 2015 |
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