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Standing Strong: An Unlikely Sisterhood and the Court Case that Made History

av Diane Reeve

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1331,514,599 (4.67)Ingen/inga
Diane Reeve found everything she was looking for in the handsome Frenchman Philippe Padieu. Deeply in love, they spent every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday together at his place or hers . . . that is, until she learned about his Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday women.  But her heartbreak was just beginning. After discovering his cheating, she tested positive for HIV and learned that Philippe had knowingly infected her. Even more shocking was the sick reality that Philippe was deliberately infecting numerous women in their 20s through 60s, with little in common except their vulnerability. Despite plummeting t-cell numbers, Diane vowed to stop Philippe from victimizing anyone else. In a race against time, Diane knitted together a band of Philippe's conquests. This sisterhood, bound by overwhelming  emotional and physical pain, fought tirelessly to have him convicted in a landmark victory relying on new DNA science.  This is not just a story ripped from the headlines; it is one woman's hard-won victory over a crushing experience and a frustrating judicial system--and her mission to help empower others to stand strong.… (mer)
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Standing Strong is the perfect title for Diane Reeve’s moving memoir about acquiring HIV/AIDS from a long term partner who willfully transmitted the virus to many people. Reeve is still standing despite the devastation of finding out her significant other was cheating on her during their entire relationship. She is still standing despite receiving an HIV/AIDS diagnosis, which was later proven to be transmitted by this guy. Reeve was able to draw from her own innate strengths and gather together many of the women who acquired the virus from him. As a group, they stood strong together and charged this man criminally, endured the trial, and celebrated their win when he was convicted. (Not a spoiler—his conviction is noted on the book’s cover.)

I’ve had Standing Strong on my digital shelf for several months, but thought it would be a tough emotional read, which made me put it off. I’m glad I waited until the #MeToo movement began, and the concept of rape culture began to be discussed in the mainstream media. While the women in this book willingly had sex with this man, his intentions were the same as a rapist.

Okay, I can’t get inside his head, but he had to know what he was doing and the book will explain why that’s the case. His awareness of the “deadly weapon” in his pants is exactly why he was convicted. By the way, I honestly don’t want to name him because the book is about Reeve and the women she banded together with. Read the book or Google her name for the media accounts.

Reeve is a Hall-of-Fame martial artist, teacher, and studio owner. It’s clear from her story that she’s, as she says, “a badass bitch.” Instead of turning inwards at her moment of greatest life crisis, she started looking for her sister victims. And then together they turned the tables on the man who transmitted the disease and pursued him in the justice system. They helped gather evidence. They found more sisters for the “club no one wants to join,” and those new members were added to the strength of the criminal case. They cried, hugged, drank margaritas, and ultimately won their case.

Then Reeve decided that telling her story (some sisters joined in this too) would benefit other women. Advocacy and education are the purpose of this book, and I couldn’t admire Reeve more for putting it all out there. She bravely bares her soul in excruciating detail, but she doesn’t stop there. The last chapter of book is a list of what Reeve really learned, and also includes many resources online to education and assist people in staying safe or getting treatment. The statistics are jaw-dropping.

“In a 2015 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, two researchers broke down how new infections are transmitted:
30% are transmitted by people who don’t know they have HIV
61% are transmitted by people who know they have HIV and are not in medical care
6% are transmitted by people who know they have HIV and are in medical care, but are not virally suppressed
2.5% are transmitted by those who are virally suppressed.
The majority of cases are transmitted by people who know they have it and are not being treated for it. It’s not a lunatic fringe. It’s not the outliers. It’s the majority.”
(The final book may have a slightly different version of this quote, but I thought it was too important not to quote.)

I hope you’ll consider tracking Reeve’s book down and reading it, especially if you are a sexually active women not currently in a monogamous relationship. But everyone should read this cautionary tale and learn from the heartbreaking yet inspiring story of strength from adversity. It’s powerful!

Thanks to NetGalley, HCI Books, and the author for the opportunity to read the digital ARC in exchange for this honest review.

Originally published at TheBibliophage.com. ( )
  TheBibliophage | Mar 20, 2018 |
To see this review and learn more about the author, please visit www.readrantrockandroll.com

Standing Strong by Diane Reeve had me captivated from beginning to end. The story is absolutely amazing, revealing, and well written.

I have to admit, I was so shocked as the story unraveled. It's truly hard to believe that someone could have the capabilities to be so destructive and cruel. Phillipe Padieu is that type of person. A monstrous person who simply cannot be trusted. What happens to Diane is a tragedy, but her courage prevails.

I love that she explained statistics and helpful information in the book. Diane is unbelievably brave and now a prominent AIDS awareness advocate.

5*****

I'd like to thank Netgalley, the author, and publisher for a copy in exchange for an honest review. ( )
  Mischenko | Nov 30, 2017 |
What an inspirational story! I can only imagine what Diane Reeve went through. She's an intelligent, strong, business woman who is missing that special someone in her life to share it with. She finally meets who she thinks is her soulmate. She's blinded by his charm, lets her guard down knowing she's taking a big risk but she was protecting her heart, not her health. She's like many women of a certain age, we don't think of HIV or STD's when we haven't been in the playing field for a long time. We think that's more of a younger person concern.

Boy, her story was just mind blowing, it's so real and really heartbreaking. We can all feel the emotions that spin through her head. When she sees a red flag it's so easy to explain these little quirks away She's in love with the man, he's like her Knight in a shiny armor. He's everything she's wants and needs. So she puts her blinders on and knows that she can love him through whatever made her suspicious.

But when she gets slammed with the reality of her "exclusive relationship" and sees that her Knight's armor was tarnished beyond repair, the blinders will no longer hide the fact that she's been played. It must have been such an awful feeling. I'm amazed at how strong she is especially with everything she's lost before she even realizes she's been infected by HIV.

The camaraderie of the group of woman who brought this monster down is just so inspiring. I can't imagine learning I had contracted HIV and being able to be so supportive of the "other women". It's amazing, these women were so courageous in what they did. I can't tell you the admiration for them that I felt reading this book.

This is a must read for every woman out there married or single. I've been married for 30 yrs, but I've got friends who are dating men that they feel are "exclusive" but a few of them also see those red flags waving. It's so easy for someone on the outside of these relationships to say, "Kick him to the curb" but it's not always that easy for the person in the relationship. This book was such an eye-opener.

Diane Reeve is a total Rock Star.

I would like to thank HCI publishing and NetGalley for providing me with an e-galley of this inspiring book. ( )
  sj1335 | Apr 14, 2016 |
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Diane Reeve found everything she was looking for in the handsome Frenchman Philippe Padieu. Deeply in love, they spent every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday together at his place or hers . . . that is, until she learned about his Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday women.  But her heartbreak was just beginning. After discovering his cheating, she tested positive for HIV and learned that Philippe had knowingly infected her. Even more shocking was the sick reality that Philippe was deliberately infecting numerous women in their 20s through 60s, with little in common except their vulnerability. Despite plummeting t-cell numbers, Diane vowed to stop Philippe from victimizing anyone else. In a race against time, Diane knitted together a band of Philippe's conquests. This sisterhood, bound by overwhelming  emotional and physical pain, fought tirelessly to have him convicted in a landmark victory relying on new DNA science.  This is not just a story ripped from the headlines; it is one woman's hard-won victory over a crushing experience and a frustrating judicial system--and her mission to help empower others to stand strong.

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