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"This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them. This is how a family lives happily ever after...until happily ever after becomes complicated. This is how children change...and then change the world. When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it's another baby boy. At least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect. But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl. Rosie and Penn aren't panicked at first. Kids go through phases, after all, and make-believe is fun. But soon the entire family is keeping Claude's secret. Until one day it explodes. This Is How It Always Is is a novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it's about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again; parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts; children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don't get to keep them forever"--… (mer)
4.5 stars. I thought this book was excellent as well as enlightening. The only reason I did not give it 5 stars was that, for me, the end was lacking in what I enjoyed the most about the book, the total loving weirdness of the entire Walsh-Adams family.
This is the story of Claude, who is the youngest of five sons to Rosie and Penn. Yet at a very early age, he is different from his brothers. Talking earlier, walking earlier, and...wanting to wear a dress. What starts as no big deal, snowballs into decisions that must be made and lines that must be drawn. Or do they?
This book I think speaks to parents everywhere. How do we make the best choices for our children? Penn answers his own question of when do we absolutely know for certain why a child is doing or feeling something. " Never. Not ever. Not once. You never know. You always guess. This is how it always is. You have to make these huge decisions on behalf of your kid, this tiny human whose fate and future is entirely in your hands, who trusts you to know what's good and right and then able to make that happen. You never have enough information. You don't get to see the future. And if you screw up, if with your incomplete,contradictory information you make the wind call,well, nothing less than your child's entire future and happiness is at stake. It's impossible. It's heartbreaking. It's maddening. But there's no alternative.". As a parent of two adult children, I still second guess some of the choices I made.
I've read other reviews that have commented that the novel is sappy, but I did not find that. I enjoyed the teasing and mild sarcasm in the conversations between the family members. I felt that this was a choice that affected everyone in the whole family, which is why I was disappointed when the focus turned to just Rosie and Claude for a bit. This may because the author has some personal experience and she was only able to share this information from a Mother's viewpoint.
I think this topic is very current and relevant. In her closing notes, Laurie Frankel writes, " I know this book will be controversial, but honestly? I keep forgetting why." I think the world could use a little bit more forgetfulness.
Some parts of this book grated on me a little bit because the author’s portrait of the big perfect, loving family felt a little too fake to me (and I have experience here since I am part of a family with five kids!) but those things were relatively minor and I liked the book as a whole. How a family copes with something as significant as a transgender child is really interesting and complicated even when that family is welcoming and supportive.
Information från den engelska sidan med allmänna fakta.Redigera om du vill anpassa till ditt språk.
Is it always "or"? Is it never "and"? ---STEPHEN SONDHEIM, INTO THE WOODS
Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.) ---WALT WHITMAN, "SONG OF MYSELF"
Dedikation
Information från den engelska sidan med allmänna fakta.Redigera om du vill anpassa till ditt språk.
For D.R.M.H.M.F. my someone
Inledande ord
Information från den engelska sidan med allmänna fakta.Redigera om du vill anpassa till ditt språk.
But first, Roo was born.
Citat
Information från den engelska sidan med allmänna fakta.Redigera om du vill anpassa till ditt språk.
There's a fork in the road. It seems like there are only two choices. It seems like the task is to figure out which way to go, left or right, forward or back, deeper or safer, but in fact any if those choices is easy compared to the real trick. The real trick is you have to forge your own way straight ahead through the trees where there is no path.
Avslutande ord
Information från den engelska sidan med allmänna fakta.Redigera om du vill anpassa till ditt språk.
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"This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them. This is how a family lives happily ever after...until happily ever after becomes complicated. This is how children change...and then change the world. When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it's another baby boy. At least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect. But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl. Rosie and Penn aren't panicked at first. Kids go through phases, after all, and make-believe is fun. But soon the entire family is keeping Claude's secret. Until one day it explodes. This Is How It Always Is is a novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it's about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again; parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts; children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don't get to keep them forever"--
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Google Books — Laddar...
1
This is the story of Claude, who is the youngest of five sons to Rosie and Penn. Yet at a very early age, he is different from his brothers. Talking earlier, walking earlier, and...wanting to wear a dress. What starts as no big deal, snowballs into decisions that must be made and lines that must be drawn. Or do they?
This book I think speaks to parents everywhere. How do we make the best choices for our children? Penn answers his own question of when do we absolutely know for certain why a child is doing or feeling something. " Never. Not ever. Not once. You never know. You always guess. This is how it always is. You have to make these huge decisions on behalf of your kid, this tiny human whose fate and future is entirely in your hands, who trusts you to know what's good and right and then able to make that happen. You never have enough information. You don't get to see the future. And if you screw up, if with your incomplete,contradictory information you make the wind call,well, nothing less than your child's entire future and happiness is at stake. It's impossible. It's heartbreaking. It's maddening. But there's no alternative.". As a parent of two adult children, I still second guess some of the choices I made.
I've read other reviews that have commented that the novel is sappy, but I did not find that. I enjoyed the teasing and mild sarcasm in the conversations between the family members. I felt that this was a choice that affected everyone in the whole family, which is why I was disappointed when the focus turned to just Rosie and Claude for a bit. This may because the author has some personal experience and she was only able to share this information from a Mother's viewpoint.
I think this topic is very current and relevant. In her closing notes, Laurie Frankel writes, " I know this book will be controversial, but honestly? I keep forgetting why." I think the world could use a little bit more forgetfulness.
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