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Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to…
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Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal (utgåvan 2018)

av Ben Sasse (Författare)

MedlemmarRecensionerPopularitetGenomsnittligt betygOmnämnanden
1567135,192 (4.19)3
"Something is wrong. We all know it. American life expectancy is declining for a third straight year. Birth rates are dropping. Nearly half of us think the other political party isn't just wrong; they're evil. We're the richest country in history, but we've never been more pessimistic. What's causing the despair? In Them, bestselling author and U.S. senator Ben Sasse argues that, contrary to conventional wisdom, our crisis isn't really about politics. It's that we're so lonely we can't see straight--and it bubbles out as anger. Local communities are collapsing. Across the nation, Little Leagues are disappearing, Rotary clubs are dwindling, and in all likelihood, we don't know the neighbor two doors down. Work isn't what we'd hoped: less certainty, few lifelong coworkers, shallow purpose. Stable families and enduring friendships--life's fundamental pillars--are in statistical freefall. As traditional tribes of place evaporate, we rally against common enemies so we can feel part of a team. No institutions command widespread public trust, enabling foreign intelligence agencies to use technology to pick the scabs on our toxic divisions. We're in danger of half of us believing different facts than the other half, and the digital revolution throws gas on the fire. There's a path forward--but reversing our decline requires something radical: a rediscovery of real places and human-to-human relationships. Even as technology nudges us to become rootless, Sasse shows how only a recovery of rootedness can heal our lonely souls. America wants you to be happy, but more urgently, America needs you to love your neighbor and connect with your community. Fixing what's wrong with the country depends on it"--Dust jacket.… (mer)
Medlem:jbcarroll
Titel:Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal
Författare:Ben Sasse (Författare)
Info:St. Martin's Press (2018), 288 pages
Samlingar:Ditt bibliotek
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Taggar:Ingen/inga

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Them av Benjamin E. Sasse

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Visa 1-5 av 7 (nästa | visa alla)
In this book Ben Sasse spoke about so many of the things I felt relating to lack of community and ultimately loneliness that I had not been able to articulate no matter how hard I tried. Specifically, the quote "We are all alone together" resonated very strongly with me.

Ultimately, I'm not sure if the book gave much actionable advice about how to fix our current situation as a society besides general advice like avoiding excessive cell phone use (to be more "present") and to try harder to emphasise with other people and think critically about why they might arrive at the different conclusion then you did.

At the very least, the book made it clear to me that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling about lacking a sense of belonging and "rootedness".

I'm so happy, I read this book and would highly recommend it to anyone on the fence.

As an aside the book does not focus on the politics in the US, even though the author is a US politician, I know that politics has a tendency to polarise people so I thought I would mention it.
( )
  arashout | Dec 13, 2020 |
Finally, a voice of reason. Never thought I'd agree with a conservative Republican from Nebraska, but that is exactly the point of this book - finding things upon which to agree and not letting differences become divisions. Sasse seems to relegate his conservatism to his politics and policies rather than his total world view or his ability to interact with others. He is not a blind party follower and did not vote for Trump, choosing instead to do a write-in candidate. He is principled and has integrity and a concept of being a public servant rather than a power-wielding politician. This is a well-thought-out treatise on the ways we have become isolated (technology, social mobility) and rather than having the traditional foundation of family, we seek other substitutes like Facebook friends. Or we align with others against something rather than for something. He has served as a college president, so he values education and sees the merit in open-mindedness and discussing differing opinions rather than shouting about them. I've been re-reading some of our country's founding documents this year: the Declaration, the Constitution, the Federalist Papers and some speeches by Washington and Lincoln. All, like Sasse, extol the virtues of a common good, and warn against factions and divisions. We are currently on a path completely divergent from the original intent of our founding fathers. Sasse offers excellent examples of what to do and what not to do from both parties and also some really concrete actions we can all do going forward. Feeling smug or powerless is not an option. Thinking about making this required reading in my household. ( )
  CarrieWuj | Oct 24, 2020 |
An important book for our time. A remarkably non-partisan look at our current social climate. (Political and otherwise). Includes useful ideas for progressing forward in a way that would be productive and ultimately lead to productive dialog and a competition of ideas that should lead to a brighter future. It would be great if it was read and understood and applied. I'm not very hopeful. Worth the read, just doubt most people will bother. ( )
  Skybalon | Mar 19, 2020 |
I took this one out because I thought it would get political. I was pleasantly surprised.

People in America are divided along many lines; race, religion, political ideals, socioeconomic status, and other demographics. Ben Sasse explores the reasons why in this timely and incisive book. It is fantastically interesting while being clear at the same time.

Historically, Americans had many tribes; groups that they could join to stave off the intense pain of loneliness. However, those traditional bastions of togetherness are gradually eroding away. From Church service to Rotary Clubs and other such programs, people are dropping out and not being replaced. Little Leagues are fading, neighbors don’t check on each other, our social structure is losing its stability. Now you may read that previous sentence and smile at the maudlin sentimentality dripping from it, but loneliness is a serious issue.

To illustrate this, Sasse turns to the 1995 Chicago heatwave. Many of the people that died in that heatwave did not have someone to check on them or make sure that they were okay. So their rotting corpses weren’t found until days later when they were fully ripe and perceptible from outside their door. Is that what you would want? Probably not. I can’t imagine someone wanting to die alone and unwanted.

Even when it comes to job satisfaction Sasse says we are losing. Back in the day you lived in your neighborhood, knew everyone and played with everyone. The child of the police officer would play with the child of the mechanic. This was aided by the fact that people kept their jobs and felt an identity with them. However, that too has changed. People keep the same job for about four years now on average, electing to have some kind of long-distance impersonal relationship with their co-workers. The advancement of technology has also exacerbated the rift between classes. The rich are getting richer while the poor are getting poorer. When you are poor, you don’t have a lot of the same advantages that a rich person would have. Say you are the child of a single mom. Dad is a deadbeat that hasn’t ever paid child support, you live practically hand to mouth. Do you really have the money or connections to enter into college and drag yourself up by your bootstraps? The answer to that is also probably not.

Take me for instance. I don’t particularly like my neighbors; they are rude and noisy. They have a terrible taste in music and the source of their income is rather veiled and unusual. I wouldn’t trust them to check on my home or even mow my lawn if I wasn’t around.

Sasse has solutions to this in his book. This too is interesting. I would recommend this book to almost anyone I know, and even those I don't know. The book is just that good. ( )
  Floyd3345 | Jun 15, 2019 |
Nebraska senator Ben Sasse wrote Them: Why We Hate Each Other – and How to Heal because he is genuinely concerned about the deep political divide that is destroying the culture this country. However, while Sasse recognizes the seriousness of the problem, he believes that it is not too late to do something about America’s cultural decline. I only wish I were even half as optimistic about that as Senator Sasse is.

Arguing about political differences is not something new; Americans have argued politics since before there was a United States of America and that will never change. What is different now is that almost no one even tries to debate a political opponent anymore. Instead, we prefer to treat those who do not agree with us as realenemies, and we resort to calling them names, personally ostracizing them, banning their work or products from our lives forever, and viciously ridiculing them at every opportunity that presents itself. Why is that?

Sasse believes that our cultural split is largely due to the alienation and loneliness that too many people feel today despite being more “connected” to the world than ever before. The problem is not that people are connected; the problem is that they can never escape that connection, and are instead bombarded 24-7 by what the media today mislabel “news.” If it’s not CNN or MSNBC, it’s Fox News; if it’s not Twitter, it’s Facebook or whatever social media app is the latest thing; if it’s not TheWashington Post, it’s The Wall Street Journal. There are media outlets to upset every one of us, and media outlets to reinforce every bias we already have.

So is it any wonder that the old groups or tribes (including our own families) we belonged to throughout our lives have splintered to the point that we are now more likely to be part of what Sasse calls an anti-tribe than part of a more traditional tribe? Anti-tribes are, after all, nothing more than re-formed tribes whose members share a group of political enemies, and that list of common enemies is all it takes to make us passionate about our new family. Even worse according to Sasse, Americans are now addicted to what he calls “polititainment,” the art of turning politics into entertainment that was so cynically created by the media in order to maximize its own profits. But not only the media have monetized politics – politicians use the same anti-tribe message to maximize the political contributions so necessary to ensure their re-election (and every politician is alwaysrunning for re-election).

Sasse does offer ways to stem the downward slide the U.S. is engaged in, but he admits that this will be a process of “taking back America by inches.” He warns against expecting a sudden or quick turnaround, because his solution may well be a generational one instead, one in which we learn to communicate with our families again; form four or five close friendships that will last the rest of our lives; and remind ourselves of the important role that satisfying work plays in our lives.

That’s a good start, and maybe in the long run it will help do the trick. I hope so. But I believe that Sasse's suggestion that we quit spending our lives watching tiny screens and reading rants from people we have no reason to trust is even more important.

(I read this one via its audiobook version read by the author.) ( )
  SamSattler | May 28, 2019 |
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Författarens namnRollTyp av författareVerk?Status
Benjamin E. Sasseprimär författarealla utgåvorberäknat
Bush, JonathanOmslagsformgivaremedförfattarevissa utgåvorbekräftat
Levavi, MerylFormgivaremedförfattarevissa utgåvorbekräftat
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"Something is wrong. We all know it. American life expectancy is declining for a third straight year. Birth rates are dropping. Nearly half of us think the other political party isn't just wrong; they're evil. We're the richest country in history, but we've never been more pessimistic. What's causing the despair? In Them, bestselling author and U.S. senator Ben Sasse argues that, contrary to conventional wisdom, our crisis isn't really about politics. It's that we're so lonely we can't see straight--and it bubbles out as anger. Local communities are collapsing. Across the nation, Little Leagues are disappearing, Rotary clubs are dwindling, and in all likelihood, we don't know the neighbor two doors down. Work isn't what we'd hoped: less certainty, few lifelong coworkers, shallow purpose. Stable families and enduring friendships--life's fundamental pillars--are in statistical freefall. As traditional tribes of place evaporate, we rally against common enemies so we can feel part of a team. No institutions command widespread public trust, enabling foreign intelligence agencies to use technology to pick the scabs on our toxic divisions. We're in danger of half of us believing different facts than the other half, and the digital revolution throws gas on the fire. There's a path forward--but reversing our decline requires something radical: a rediscovery of real places and human-to-human relationships. Even as technology nudges us to become rootless, Sasse shows how only a recovery of rootedness can heal our lonely souls. America wants you to be happy, but more urgently, America needs you to love your neighbor and connect with your community. Fixing what's wrong with the country depends on it"--Dust jacket.

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