The copy of this I read is undated, it is Edwardian or late-Victorian by the look of it, and is credited to "Censor", but it's presumably just a pirated UK edition of the American book of the same title credited to the playwright Oliver Bell Bunce and originally published in the early 1880s. It's a 64-page booklet with the peculiarity that every sentence starts with the word "Don't" (in bold), listing a whole string of bad habits we should avoid in polite society. While ostensibly addressed to gentlemen (with one chapter of advice "to the gentler sex"), the publishers are presumably really aiming it at the rising lower middle classes, people like Mr Pooter of Diary of a nobody, who haven't benefited from the sort of early education in which they learn how to lead a lady into dinner or to hold a knife and fork (the advice in this section makes it pretty obvious that it was originally written for Americans, since it is cautioning the reader against exactly the sort of behaviour Mrs Trollope noticed half a century earlier).

Obviously there's a lot of advice here that — from a safe distance — just looks like common sense and basic good manners (it's always good to give your readers the feeling that they are already two-thirds of the way to respectability), as well as a lot that is simply obsolete, like the advice on dress. And there's a certain amount that was clearly excessive even when it was written. Anyone trying to follow the advice on dinner-table conversation literally would soon get stuck. Don't remain silent, don't talk about yourself, don't discuss religion, politics, or anything to do with health or digestion, don't be too witty, don't bore, ... and so on, for several more pages. And there are some odd omissions: there is nothing about how much to tip servants, for instance, and very little about visiting-card etiquette, both of which are often mentioned as points of social awkwardness by writers of the time. ( )

While my companion was trying on dresses in St Peter's Hospice this afternoon, I wandered over to the book section to see if anyone had left anything weird and wonderful. And they had.

This is a brilliant little book, which according to the spine is called Don't: a manual of mistakes, or on the front cover: Don't: mistakes and improprieties more or less prevalent in conduct and speech, the inside cover dubs it slightly more concisely as just Don't, while last but not least the title page claims the work is called Don't: a little book dealing frankly with mistakes & improprieties more or less common to all. Whichever title you choose, the gist is the same. This is an expanded edition of a book from 1884 that, through the medium of a long list of sentences starting "Don't", explains how to be a proper gentleman or lady.

Some of them are fairly standard such as "Don't masticate your food with your mouth open" while others might be standard except for the delightfully quaint Victorian turn of phrase, as in, from the "For Women" chapter, "Don't ever disparage your hostess's hospitality by appearing at any function in a toilet which might suggest that you do not consider the occasion worthy of your choicest attire."

The "expanded" part is a handful of chapters tacked onto the end of the book explaining how a Victorian gentleman acts while playing tennis ("Don't make audible comments disparaging other folk's play, it is very bad form"), while walking ("Don't walk more than three abreast"), while flying ("Don't mind occasional little ups and downs in flight. The pilot does not, so why should you?"), and when going on a cruise ("Don't, when packing, overlook your hot-water bottle, aspirin tablets, brandy flask, and field glasses").

There's a nice, dry English wit to the whole thing and while many of the sentiments are hopelessly outdated there's still enough in here to make me suspect I'll be a slightly better gentleman for the next few days. ( )

A nice little book of style from the 19th century: a pleasure to read the archaicisms and see how conventions and habits have changed. ( )