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Fondling Your Muse : Infallible Advice from a Published Author to the…

av John Warner

Andra författare: Se under Andra författare.

MedlemmarRecensionerPopularitetGenomsnittligt betygOmnämnanden
1385152,094 (3.39)9
A note from the author: "Writing is a solitary and often scary enterprise. I alone have heard your silent screams, so I have written this book to help you achieve what everyone who has the courage to live the creative life deserves: complete, utter, slavish adoration and worship. Also: incalculable wealth that insulates you from the concerns of ordinary people." And there you have it. Fondling Your Muse is John Warner's innovative and slightly insane book of instruction for those who want to write, and those who think they already can. It's packed with quirky (possibly deranged) advice guaranteed to make you laugh out loud in the most embarrassing fashion possible. You know what we mean. It also includes a special chapter entitled "Everything Stephen King Knows About Writing Successfully: Plus Some Things I Know That He Doesn't Because He Isn't That Special." No other book currently available has this chapter! And Fondling Your Muse provides the kind of wise, insightful guidance that's missing from all of those self-serious, mind-numbingly awful books that promise riches and fame by writing only 20 minutes a day. Let's say you're looking for a tried-and-true recipe for literary success. Warner reveals all of the best ones, including these succulent concoctions: Contemporary Romance Quiche al la Nicholas Sparks ("Tasty with a side of hackneyed potatoes.") Tom Clancy Techno-Thriller Surprise ("Preparation is usually subcontracted to others.") Chick-Lit Cacciatore ("Satisfies many, every single time. I can't explain how either.") Harlequin Romance Salad ("Thoroughly rip bodices, pound prose until purple, and combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl.") John Grisham's Legal Thriller Stew ("Boil in pot until ingredients bubble over line of believability.") Contemporary American Literary Fiction Flambe ("Served in smaller and smaller quantities as the years go by.") It doesn't get any better than that. So go ahead - get Fondling today!… (mer)
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Visar 5 av 5
Fondling Your Muse is a non-fiction title that provides advice to writers. It is described as a hands on guide to writing your very own New York Times best seller.

The Cover: I have a hardback copy of this book and the cover is awesome. It has a texture to it that looks like soft leather. The colour is good, trimmed with gold and the white font pops. It is a beautiful cover that drew me to the book straight away. I wouldn’t say that it screams ‘non-fiction writing guide’ to me, more like a book of poems or a religious text, however the title sparks interest and the sub-titles tell you exactly what the book is about.

The Good Stuff: The cover is awesome. The content itself is very tongue-in-cheek funny which you will enjoy if you like that sort of thing. The book does also have writing related information, which for the complete novice may be of some use.

The Bad Stuff: I was really disappointed with this book. The quality of the cover and its bindings gave me high hopes. I was sorely let down by the comedic style of writing, which had me questioning when the author was serious and when he was just fooling around. Maybe it’s me and my sense of humour, but I just didn’t get all the humour. Yes, I laughed in places, but I also thought it was ridiculous in places. I don’t mind a bit of humour, but I expect a certain level of sophistication from a non-fiction title, and this book just didn’t cut it for me.

Overall, you will get a laugh from this book, but you have to ask yourself ‘is that what I want?’ Honestly, I don’t usually get so snarky about books, maybe I was just having an off day, but I just felt like I wasted my time on this one. I really don’t want to waste more time reading it again to find out if that was the really case. So, if you’re keen, give it a go. You may love it and tell me just how wrong I am, but I’m only giving this 2 out of 5 golden bookmarks (and that's solely because I love the cover).
( )
  AWA1 | Oct 22, 2019 |
First, some confessions: 1) I LOVE the title. I absolutely unapologetically LOVE and ADORE this title. Alone, it would have been enough for me to buy the book. 2) I used to share an office with the author, and since this book came out while I was in said office, I wanted to support the project (contrary to what jokes in the book might suggest, he did not push the book on me!). 3) I'm not a big reader of humor...in fact, I don't even watch many comedies. And, when it comes to slap-stick and/or dry humor, I generally stay away. Thus, without a doubt, I'm simply not the target audience for the book. (Well, except in that I love the title. I Really Love the title.)

In the end, I was amused. I was entertained and engaged enough to wander through the full book, and aware enough to realize that John's dry humor just isn't mine--many readers will find this laugh-out-loud funny and celebrate every page of irony and satire. Unfortunately, that's just not me. There are a Lot of one-liners in this book, and while most are funny, the piling of one on top of another ended up making it a slower read for me.

The point of all this as you try to figure out whether or not to pick it up? Well, it's a gorgeous book, and will likely make every writer guffaw repeatedly (particularly writers of fiction, admittedly), so it certainly wouldn't be a bad coffee table book or humorous gift. So, if you're looking for humor and jokes about writing and writers? Absolutely. On the other hand, if you take yourself too seriously, don't like dry humor, or are actually looking for in depth and sincere writing advice...well, you really ought to go elsewhere.

All that said, though, I'm not a humor person...and I'm still glad to have wandered my way through the book. So, perhaps I should simply say: if you write, wander through a chapter or two, and you'll know pretty quickly whether this will be a favorite or something to pass on by. ( )
  whitewavedarling | Jun 5, 2013 |
Although this is nowhere near as side-splittingly wonderful (or as useful) as How Not to Write a Novel, it's still an amusing, chuckle-worthy parody of the genre of "writing advice" books. Middle-grade humor (by which I mean quality, not age) I guess. ( )
  meggyweg | Oct 15, 2011 |
#108, 2006

Not much here in the way of actual writing advice (unless you decide just to do the complete opposite of everything he suggests), but it’s a funny book – there were a few moments that made me laugh out loud! ( )
2 rösta herebedragons | Jan 17, 2007 |
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Författarens namnRollTyp av författareVerk?Status
John Warnerprimär författarealla utgåvorberäknat
Friedman, JaneRedaktörmedförfattarevissa utgåvorbekräftat
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This book is dedicated to you, by which I mean me, myself. I say you because when I read it, I know that I'm talking about myself. I don't want you to think it's dedicated to you, the reader, when I mean me, the writer. It would be silly to dedicate a book to someone like you, who had nothing to do with writing it -- don't you think?
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Before we go any further, we need to figure out if you have what it takes to be a writer.
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A note from the author: "Writing is a solitary and often scary enterprise. I alone have heard your silent screams, so I have written this book to help you achieve what everyone who has the courage to live the creative life deserves: complete, utter, slavish adoration and worship. Also: incalculable wealth that insulates you from the concerns of ordinary people." And there you have it. Fondling Your Muse is John Warner's innovative and slightly insane book of instruction for those who want to write, and those who think they already can. It's packed with quirky (possibly deranged) advice guaranteed to make you laugh out loud in the most embarrassing fashion possible. You know what we mean. It also includes a special chapter entitled "Everything Stephen King Knows About Writing Successfully: Plus Some Things I Know That He Doesn't Because He Isn't That Special." No other book currently available has this chapter! And Fondling Your Muse provides the kind of wise, insightful guidance that's missing from all of those self-serious, mind-numbingly awful books that promise riches and fame by writing only 20 minutes a day. Let's say you're looking for a tried-and-true recipe for literary success. Warner reveals all of the best ones, including these succulent concoctions: Contemporary Romance Quiche al la Nicholas Sparks ("Tasty with a side of hackneyed potatoes.") Tom Clancy Techno-Thriller Surprise ("Preparation is usually subcontracted to others.") Chick-Lit Cacciatore ("Satisfies many, every single time. I can't explain how either.") Harlequin Romance Salad ("Thoroughly rip bodices, pound prose until purple, and combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl.") John Grisham's Legal Thriller Stew ("Boil in pot until ingredients bubble over line of believability.") Contemporary American Literary Fiction Flambe ("Served in smaller and smaller quantities as the years go by.") It doesn't get any better than that. So go ahead - get Fondling today!

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