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The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive…
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The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation… (utgåvan 2018)

av Dr. Robin Stern (Författare)

MedlemmarRecensionerPopularitetGenomsnittligt betygOmnämnanden
1154180,925 (3.82)7
Are You Being Gaslighted?Check for these telltale signs:1. You constantly second-guess yourself.2. You wonder, “Am I being too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.3. You wonder frequently if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter.4. You have trouble making simple decisions.5. You think twice before bringing up innocent topics of conversation.6. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.7. Before your partner comes home from work, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day.8. You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases thinking about what your partner would like instead of what would make you feel great.9. You actually start to enjoy the constant criticism, because you think, “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger.”10. You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don’t have to tell him things you’re afraid might upset him.11. You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists.12. You feel as though you can’t do anything right.13. You frequently wonder if you’re good enough for your lover.14. Your kids start trying to protect you from being humiliated by your partner.15. You feel hopeless and joyless.Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time.Your boss backed you on a project when you met privately in his office, and you went full steam ahead. But at a large gathering of staff—including yours—he suddenly changes his tune and publicly criticizes your poor judgment. When you tell him your concerns for how this will affect your authority, he tells you that the project was ill-conceived and you’ll have to be more careful in the future. You begin to question your competence.Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, your friends, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back as your friends encourage you to do, you tell them that your mother is often right and that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism.If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn’t and to believe the unbelieveable. It can happen to you and it probably already has.How do we know? If you consider answering “yes” to even one of the following questions, you’ve probably been gaslighted:Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse?When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world?Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar?Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. That’s because it plays into one of our worst fears—of being abandoned—and many of our deepest needs: to be understood, appreciated, and loved. In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works and tells you how to:Turn up your Gaslight Radar, so you know when a relationship is headed for troubleDetermine whether you are enabling a gaslighterRecognize the Three Stages of Gaslighting: Disbelief, Defense, and DepressionRefuse to be gaslighted by using the Five Rules for Turning Off the GasDevelop your own “Gaslight Barometer” so you can decide which relationships can be saved—and which you have to walk away fromLearn how to Gasproof Your Life so that you’ll never again choose another gaslighting relationship… (mer)
Medlem:TTgrrl
Titel:The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life
Författare:Dr. Robin Stern (Författare)
Info:Harmony (2018), Edition: Reprint, 304 pages
Samlingar:Ditt bibliotek
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The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life av Robin Stern

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If you’ve ever been in a situation with a partner, family member, or employer where something just didn’t seem right, you may have been the target of gaslighting. Robin Stern is the psychologist who recognized this manipulative ploy and gave it its name. Her book on the subject focuses on self-help and includes some good advice on getting and staying out of a gaslighter’s control. I have to admit I skimmed through the case histories as they went through the three levels of gaslighting because they seemed a little repetitive. But the book’s appendices were excellent and included domestic and emotional abuse resources as well as advice about exercise, sleep hygiene, and diet. ( )
  wandaly | Feb 11, 2018 |
This is a detailed look at a con game played far too often by people with a passion for controlling others.

Gaslighting happens on the job, sure, but the most devastating effects come in our most intimate relationships.

I knew about this pattern before this book was written. I hadn't seen the movie. I saw this unfold in the life of a friend who was temporarily taken in.

I saw the movie, Gaslight, after reading about it in the book. I was amazed it was available for free!

Dr. Stern has done the world a service with this insightful, warm and helpful book.

  Ponygroom | Dec 17, 2016 |
This one was life-changing for me. Every previous thing I'd read about gaslighting, narcissists, sociopaths etc. ironically focused on them and their behavior. This one did as well, but it also had plenty to say about the gaslightee. It detailed the dance between the two and the personality traits of someone who remains in such a relationship. Somehow seeing myself on the page empowered me. I took action that removed that from my life.

The book isn't solely about romantic relationships either which is good. There are examples of gaslighting behavior by bosses, friends and parents as well.

Finally, I've read some reviews where the reader wasn't happy that there was advice for staying with a gaslighter given here. My position is that for whatever personal reasons they have, some people are going to stay. Given that reality, it is smart and good to give them tools for living as healthily as possible in that situation.

One of the big aha realizations as I read was the notion that when you are being gaslighted, your empathy, which is obviously a wonderful characteristic, is actually being used as a weapon against you. LIGHT BULB MOMENT!

If you or someone you know is involved with a manipulator and is at a loss, this is a great resource. ( )
1 rösta nancyewhite | Dec 31, 2015 |
A nice read to finalize the nailed coffin after 30 years of trying to please. I get it now, really. ( )
  Clatters | Sep 14, 2010 |
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Are You Being Gaslighted?Check for these telltale signs:1. You constantly second-guess yourself.2. You wonder, “Am I being too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.3. You wonder frequently if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter.4. You have trouble making simple decisions.5. You think twice before bringing up innocent topics of conversation.6. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.7. Before your partner comes home from work, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day.8. You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases thinking about what your partner would like instead of what would make you feel great.9. You actually start to enjoy the constant criticism, because you think, “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger.”10. You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don’t have to tell him things you’re afraid might upset him.11. You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists.12. You feel as though you can’t do anything right.13. You frequently wonder if you’re good enough for your lover.14. Your kids start trying to protect you from being humiliated by your partner.15. You feel hopeless and joyless.Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time.Your boss backed you on a project when you met privately in his office, and you went full steam ahead. But at a large gathering of staff—including yours—he suddenly changes his tune and publicly criticizes your poor judgment. When you tell him your concerns for how this will affect your authority, he tells you that the project was ill-conceived and you’ll have to be more careful in the future. You begin to question your competence.Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, your friends, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back as your friends encourage you to do, you tell them that your mother is often right and that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism.If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn’t and to believe the unbelieveable. It can happen to you and it probably already has.How do we know? If you consider answering “yes” to even one of the following questions, you’ve probably been gaslighted:Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse?When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world?Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar?Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. That’s because it plays into one of our worst fears—of being abandoned—and many of our deepest needs: to be understood, appreciated, and loved. In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works and tells you how to:Turn up your Gaslight Radar, so you know when a relationship is headed for troubleDetermine whether you are enabling a gaslighterRecognize the Three Stages of Gaslighting: Disbelief, Defense, and DepressionRefuse to be gaslighted by using the Five Rules for Turning Off the GasDevelop your own “Gaslight Barometer” so you can decide which relationships can be saved—and which you have to walk away fromLearn how to Gasproof Your Life so that you’ll never again choose another gaslighting relationship

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