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Counting the Cost: A Memoir (2023)

av Jill Duggar

Andra författare: Craig Borlase, Derick Dillard

MedlemmarRecensionerPopularitetGenomsnittligt betygOmnämnanden
2068132,624 (3.97)6
Biography & Autobiography. Religion & Spirituality. Nonfiction. HTML:For the first time, discover the unedited truth about the Duggars, the traditional Christian family that captivated the nation on TLC's hit show 19 Kids and Counting. Jill Duggar and her husband Derick are finally ready to share their story, revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation behind the show that remained hidden from their fans.
Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn't possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family's way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle's nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn't protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining a higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married.
But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore.
For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members??they weren't willing to rock the boat. But now they're raising a family of their own, and they're done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through hones
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I grew up watching both shows with my Mom, and even admired the family. I wanted my life to look like similar to theirs…minus the skirts all the time. But what you see isn’t always the truth. I respect Jill for telling her story and to be able to heal from everything she has gone through. I admire that she is able to hold on to her faith and focus on the true gospel. ( )
  sfrench95 | Jan 25, 2024 |
I read Becoming Free Indeed by Jinger Vuolo, so I decided to also read her sister Jill Dillard's book Counting the Cost. These were two very different books. While essentially dealing with the same situation and experience, Jill's book described in more detail her personal experience with her family, especially her father, and also touched on her awakening to the agenda of the IBLP. Jinger's was more focused on the IBLP and her spiritual journey. That being said, I did find this memoir interesting. It really opened the door on what life was like in the Duggar household. It didn't shy away from the ugly things, but didn't give out the private details that I really didn't want or need to know. One of the things that stood out to me was the relationship Jill has with her husband. Considering their time together before marriage was short and chaperoned, Derick has really been her rock. Jill's father basically chose him for her and encouraged the relationship only to later be faced with a strong Christian man who took his vows seriously and stood with his wife during some truly tough times. Derick had the strength to stand nose to nose with Jill's father without fear. I don't think he had any idea what he was in for when he became part of the family. I really felt for her and I'm glad she has a strong support system including a therapist. Writing this book had to be therapeutic even though I'm sure it re-opened some of the gaps with her family. She over and over stated that she loves her family and her parents and I while some may question if telling this story was a loving thing to do, I don't think that is for us to judge. I hope that she as well as her other family members have time now to just go on and live their lives. Looking ahead rather than back. All in all, I'm glad I read it. ( )
  sdbookhound | Jan 13, 2024 |
Lost Count
I had hoped to have a stronger connection with this book, given my support for victims, but I encountered significant difficulty while reading it. My struggle wasn't due to the writing itself but rather the language employed within. It became evident that the author was attempting to navigate a delicate path, indicating that she may not yet be fully prepared to open up and is still grappling with her upbringing.

The author's narrative conveyed a sense that she primarily attributes her father's wrongdoing to financial matters, while her mother appears to bear no responsibility for what transpired in her life. She paints her childhood as if it were a fairytale upbringing, yet it lacks acknowledgment of the inherent flaws and issues that existed.

The impact of Jill's homeschooling experience becomes evident throughout this book. It's important to clarify that this isn't a critique of the book's writing quality; in fact, it's well-written. However, my perspective on the writing style might be influenced by the fact that I listened to the audiobook.

Jill's portrayal in the story leaves a distinct impression of timidity and apprehension, as if she's concerned about the possibility of a family member reading her words and inadvertently hurting her siblings. It raises a significant question: How can one fully express their truth when the fear of causing harm to others lingers in the background?

It falls somewhere between not bad and not good. What it needed wasn't more details or drama, but a deeper and more genuine examination of the author's life. I hope the author continues with therapy and eventually realizes that assessing one's childhood doesn't equate to its collapse. If evaluating anything, be it your upbringing, your relationships, or your faith, leads to its collapse, it suggests that it was already fragile before you began. ( )
  b00kdarling87 | Jan 7, 2024 |
Some of my family members recently read a book by one of Jill Duggar’s sisters, and highly recommended it. I haven’t taken the time to read that yet, even though my interest was piqued, but when I was looking for a book for a reading challenge recently, I realized Jill Duggar’s Counting the Cost fit one of my goals exactly. And what a read!

I was half afraid, going into the story, that this would be one of those tell-all “tear everyone else down and vindicate yourself” kind of stories. After reading it, though, I’m so grateful that it isn’t that. Yes, Jill dives into some very difficult things, and talks about tough aspects of her childhood and early adult years, but even people she may now distrust are not spoken about with a vitriolic attitude.

If I were to attribute a few one-word descriptions to this book, I’d call it honest, heartfelt, and impactful. I greatly enjoyed this read, and appreciated Jill taking the time to share her heart and experiences with those—like me—who have seen the shiny veneer of her family through their TV show, but don’t know the story behind the show. This was an encouraging read, and I’m grateful to have had the chance to get my hands on it. Recommended to anyone who enjoys reading memoirs about people who have had to step out in faith—especially those recovering from strict religious upbringings. ( )
  EstherFilbrun | Dec 6, 2023 |
Growing up in a large family that embraces a highly conservative version of Christianity is one thing, doing so on television is another. Jill chronicles the ups and downs of her childhood and the problems she and her husband faced when trying to achieve financial and emotional independence from the family after their marriage. There's also the trauma caused by her older brother's sexual abuse of her and some of her sisters as children, and the re-traumatization of having that splashed across the media when it came to light years later.

I never watched more than a few clips of 19 Kids and Counting or any of the the spin-offs, but I certainly heard enough about it during the height of its popularity to be interested when this book crossed my path. Jill does a good job of expressing the emotions she felt at certain charged points. The writing feels very cautious at several points, and slips into legalese whenever the lawsuit about the In Touch article is mentioned. Especially toward the end of the book, she refers to "a sibling" rather than using names fairly frequently. While it's understandable that she wants to protect her siblings both from media attention and from her parents' displeasure, it makes for a bumpy reading experience. All in all, though, this is a solid memoir, of particular interest to those who watched the TLC show or those who have experienced leaving a highly controlling conservative environment. ( )
  foggidawn | Nov 13, 2023 |
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Författarens namnRollTyp av författareVerk?Status
Jill Duggarprimär författarealla utgåvorberäknat
Borlase, Craigmedförfattarealla utgåvorbekräftat
Dillard, Derickmedförfattarealla utgåvorbekräftat
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For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether we have sufficient to finish it?

—-LUKE 14:28-29
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To those who have been harmed in the name of “religion.” To those who have suffered behind closed doors and have yet to find their voice.
To those who have begun to find their voice but may still be living in a season of isolation.
To those like Ester of the Old Testament Bible story have courageously answered the call for “such a time as this” (Ester 4:14), and despite the backlash have now found their voice.
From victims and survivors, to strangers, family, and friends, this book is dedicated to you. May you all know that you are not alone. That your story, your voice, and your mental health matter.
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

—-Psalm 9:9 ESV
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Technically, there was no problem with Derick and I being outside together that way.
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Biography & Autobiography. Religion & Spirituality. Nonfiction. HTML:For the first time, discover the unedited truth about the Duggars, the traditional Christian family that captivated the nation on TLC's hit show 19 Kids and Counting. Jill Duggar and her husband Derick are finally ready to share their story, revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation behind the show that remained hidden from their fans.
Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn't possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family's way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle's nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn't protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining a higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married.
But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore.
For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members??they weren't willing to rock the boat. But now they're raising a family of their own, and they're done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through hones

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