Should you spank a child? It's about time that people face up to reality: ninety-nine percent of all spankings are parental temper tantrums. They are in no way attempts to train or educate a child. They are simply the angry outburst of a parent who has lost control, doesn't know what to do and wants revenge by inflicting pain. Parents who have big problems with self-control and anger management try to justify and rationalize spanking by saying things like, "You have to set limits," "It's for their own good," and "Having to hit these kids hurts me more than it does them." It's true that there are cultures and groups where spanking is more often perceived as a legitimate discipline technique. But research tells us that physical discipline like this tends to generate anxiety in children, lower their self-esteem and make the kids more likely to become aggressive themselves. Generally speaking, though, adults who spank do not care one bit about research. I have on occasion talked til I'm blue in the face with parents like these, and, sadly enough, changing their opinions and discipline habits is often a lost cause.
The whole point of the 1-2-3 counting program is to avoid the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit routine."