This is a great book to help individuals get a clear perspective on where they are and where they want to be in life. It offers practical and thoughtful options in decision making and evaluation one's life. ( )

Thought-Provoking Lessons about Boundaries

How many times have you watched a situation deteriorate into a disaster because someone, a boss, a spouse, a sibling, failed to define limits and then stick to those limits? How many times have you yourself allowed people to cross your personal boundaries and found yourself in a worsening personal situation because of it? Could the disaster be eliminated before it gets worse? Can you actually improve your situation by clearly setting limits in your personal relationships? Those are the sticky wickets Dr. Henry Cloud tackles in “The One-Life Solution.”

For me, the whole book was a thought-provoking review – of people and situations I have observed, of situations in my own life I could have prevented or handled more effectively. I thought of friends who won’t set limits for their children – and what a disagreeable experience it is to be around those children. I thought of times I allowed people to go beyond my personal boundaries because I was trying too hard to please. I thought of the times when work was routinely a 24-hour-a-day ordeal, and how I could have managed the demands placed on me more effectively. I decided what I would do in the future to avoid or mitigate such situations.

Author Cloud will show you how to set limits effectively and actually improve the situations that may now be causing you significant discomfort. His focus is primarily on work situations, but the problems and solutions he presents are applicable to all human interactions.

I highly recommend this book - for bosses, employees, spouses, lovers, friends, and parents, that is for everyone. If we take his advice, openly declare our boundaries, listen and observe the boundaries of others, we can improve many day-to-day interactions and have more success in all aspects of our lives. ( )

The One-Life Solution by Dr. Henry Cloud will help people in business create a domain and range for their personal and business decisions. Published by Collins Business in 2008, the self-help book is timely given the economic and political challenges facing us all. The domain is described in the subtitle, Reclaim Your Personal Life While Achieving Greater Professional Success. The range consists of a heuristic metaphor and good operational definitions.

The metaphor is spatial with a focus on “boundaries” of personal “property.” It helps to generate hypotheses, cause and effect statements that can be tested empirically. Following up on his earlier work, Dr. Cloud writes that conscious boundaries provide structure for successful business decisions. A major problem for many people is that they do not know enough about themselves to use their thought processes effectively. They let the external environment (e.g., other people, business situations, workplace setting) determine their emotions, relations, and performance. This is a conceptual problem. The good news is that people can learn to use cognitive methods to re-structure their internal property and create stronger boundaries. This is not easy because our current society seems to be “structureless,” but it can be done with practice.

The range of the book would be severely limited and could be criticized as psychobabble without Dr. Cloud’s operational definitions of terms. These definitions consist of operations the business person can use to observe and measure the effects of hypotheses derived from the metaphor. One way to gather empirical data is to conduct a “time audit,” recording the “time of your life.” How many hours of the work week do you spend establishing and reinforcing your personal property? In contrast, how many hours do you experience anxiety, seek approval, and avoid making decisions as holes open in your “fences?” Dr. Cloud demonstrates how to keep a log, recording empirical results of the use of the metaphor that can be used for successful action.

Another operational definition involves the “word audit.” A major concept in the spatial metaphor is communication about boundaries. Words and phrases can be tabulated and used to develop effective spatial cognitive strategies. Phrases like “I think…” and “I will…” indicate your independence and resistance to encroachment into your property by other people and business situations even in restricted work environments. Dr. Cloud discusses words and phrases that weaken your boundaries and gives clear examples. Again, a log should be maintained so that frequencies of word usage can be changed and monitored for effectiveness. Rhetoric is an important aspect of the spatial metaphor and is essential for self-determination in the workplace.

Dr. Cloud presents many other operational definitions in his book related to his metaphor. He reviews major themes and gives additional specific business examples in the last chapters and appendix. He concludes by showing the importance of the interaction of metaphor and objective measurement, thought and action, hypotheses and conclusions. Often, authors of self-help books present powerful metaphors but give few operational definitions (a useful explanation of the term psychobabble). Because it quantifies the integration of both ideas and performance, The One-Life Solution is an excellent practical manual for personal success and satisfaction in business. ( )