3.75 ( )

A painfully realistic YA book that isn't afraid to paint the main protagonist in an unlikeable light. It holds a lot of weight for such a short book but it delivers nonetheless. ( )

Not Related:
I feel like I've read parts of this before. You know, like flipping through a book and reading random passages. Except I didn't.
I love my twisted premonitions. All those 'I dreamed it and wow it happened' moments catch me totally off-guard sometimes.
My mind is a scary place. No wonder I love it. It's so freaking awesome.

ONWARDS

What a head-case!
My mind is sort of blank, filled with emptiness now.
Stunned.
Wow.

It's a Good Book.
Just, you know, don't be too judgemental. ( )

Parker. I don't know. She isn't supposed to be likable, is she? But I still like her. She is actually one of my favourite female characters. And that is pretty much only because she is fucked up. I am not saying she is like me because I am not like her at all.

She is a perfectionist, or used to be. But I am not, although I show those tendencies. She is rude and wants to be left alone. I don't want that, although I show those tendencies. What I am trying to say is, we are not Parker Fadley but we all show some of those tendencies.

The book was obviously about gulit and PTSD but what I like it did better than other books was imply the fact that Parker is not like that because of circumstances, but she was like that even before. She was so good at concealing it that people took her as she appeared.

There are so many little things that the book gives us an insight into and I don't even think I can clearly explain that.
When you look at Parker's relationship with her dog, Bailey, and how she wants to replace herself in her family with the dog, you understand how it feels to want to quit. I never really liked suicidal characters, but if there was any accurate description of them, it was in this book.

You also don't see bullying that leads to this behaviour, you see mistakes made by everyone that add up to something horrific. We stay inside Parker's head so much, that we can't even hate her when the truth is revealed.
Also, this was probably the first book in which romance doesn't influence the lead character, and it was positively refreshing.

For all those people who are reading 13 Reasons Why or watching that show, read this. It is better. ( )

(From www.pingwings.ca)

I read this as part of the Courtney Summers Read-Along hosted by Ciara at Lost at Midnight Reviews. Before this, I’d read This Is Not A Test, which I loved, so I was eager to read more of her books!

Goodreads summary:

When “Perfect” Parker Fadley starts drinking at school and failing her classes, all of St. Peter’s High goes on alert. How has the cheerleading captain, girlfriend of the most popular guy in school, consummate teacher’s pet, and future valedictorian fallen so far from grace?

Parker doesn’t want to talk about it. She’d just like to be left alone, to disappear, to be ignored. But her parents have placed her on suicide watch and her conselors are demanding the truth. Worse, there’s a nice guy falling in love with her and he’s making her feel things again when she’d really rather not be feeling anything at all.

Nobody would have guessed she’d turn out like this. But nobody knows the truth.

Something horrible has happened, and it just might be her fault.

Parker Fadley used to be pretty perfect. She was popular, head cheerleader, and dating the most popular guy in her school. But something happened and now Parker is so different from the person everyone thinks she was. I was drawn into this story immediately, eager to know what had happened to Parker to make her push everyone away.

Parker was really trying to be unlikeable, to make sure that people would leave her alone. She wanted to disappear. She was snide, sarcastic, drinking and getting in trouble at school, and downright cruel at times to her former friends and her parents. She had to follow strict rules at school if she hoped to graduate at the end of the year, but was always looking for ways to get around them. And yet, despite her bad attitude and the awful way she treated people, I liked Parker. She made me laugh at times. She was obviously going through something and I wanted to know what it was. I tried to guess, but I was nowhere near correct. And once I learned the truth, I could totally understand why it messed Parker up.

This is a book that you won’t want to put down. It’s very character-driven, and there were so many people in Parker’s life who, despite her best intentions, would not leave her alone. Reading about her parents refusing to give up on her really got to me. And Parker’s ex-boyfriend and Jake, the new guy in school, wouldn’t turn their backs on her either. (PS I love Jake!) Then there was Becky, who seemed to benefit from Parker’s fall down the social ladder, as a former friend and rival of Parker’s. Each of these characters felt real, and I loved the dialogue in this book. Courtney Summers really has a way with words!

I really enjoyed this book. It totally pulled at my heartstrings, and despite the hardships Parker went through, it ended optimistically. I believe this is Courtney Summers’ first book, and if that’s true, I’m impressed! This is a tight, polished book with a main character that I connected to right away. I’m definitely looking forward to the rest of the read along! ( )