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How to Win Friends & Influence People…

How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised) (urspr publ 1948; utgåvan 1981)

av Dale Carnegie (Författare)

MedlemmarRecensionerPopularitetGenomsnittligt betygOmnämnanden
11,063152467 (3.94)78
Carnegie's classic bestseller--an inspirational personal-development guide that shows how to achieve lifelong success--is now in a newly packaged edition, the first hardcover release of this classic since 1981.
Titel:How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised)
Författare:Dale Carnegie (Författare)
Info:Simon & Schuster (1981), Edition: Revised, Subsequent, 299 pages
Samlingar:Ditt bibliotek


Hur man vinner vänner och inflytande av Dale Carnegie (1948)

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    From the book:

      Recall that we identified two broad kinds of consumption: workers’ mass consumption and capitalists’ luxury consumption…. Mass consumption tends to equal workers’ wages…. Unlike workers, however, capitalists have a meaningful choice regarding how to spend their income: on luxury consumption, or reinvesting in their businesses. How much they consume, and how much they invest, will influence how strong the economy is today, and how fast it grows in the future. In earlier times, frugal capitalists tended to reinvest most of their profits, and hence capitalism developed quickly.

      Today, however, capitalists consume much of their profit (or find other unproductive uses for some of it, like financial speculation), and this has been associated with a visible slowing of business investment during the years of neoliberalism. Indeed, if the goal of neoliberalism was to strengthen investment and growth, then it has clearly failed: despite new powers and freedoms, the world’s capitalists invest less of their profit than in previous epochs.
    … (mer)
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engelska (142)  spanska (5)  tyska (2)  arabiska (1)  katalanska (1)  franska (1)  Alla språk (152)
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You go downstairs to find your breakfast unmade, but you are hungry! And important! Stop! Do not ascend your rococo staircase to awaken your wife with a fierce bellow and violent shake, rather sit at the dining room table and sing a hearty sea shanty that she may be woken by gentler means, as did no less a man than William Henry Gladstone, renowned British politician and organ enthusiast.

"This psychology will work, regardless of whether you are selling asbestos roofs or touring Europe in a Ford."

I thought I had already read this self-help classic on how-to-be-nice-definitely-not-creepy but it turns out I had just listened to "How to make friends and influence people" by TerrorVision
  RebeccaBooks | Sep 16, 2021 |
I read this once a year. You should too.
( )
  JoeC3 | Sep 9, 2021 |
By reputation it was the epitome of uncool, so I groaned inwardly when as part of my journalism degree work this was an assigned text for a class on psychology and communication. There are many helpful principles here, many of them practiced less and less as the years go on, to the detriment of our social fabric. ( )
  HenrySt123 | Jul 19, 2021 |
This pre-war work serves as a post-digital transformation guidepost to escaping the lack of resonance from likes, follows, or comments. Offering rock-solid and industrial new-old ways of connecting deeply in a maze of an iCentered «look at me»-generation... ( )
  JFederer | Jun 10, 2021 |
As the most famous and influential self-help book of the 20th century, this would be of interest to me even if I despised the self-help genre. Fortunately for the book (and for me), it was excellent. I really hate the phrase "common sense", because it's invariably applied to notions that are either uncommon or nonsensical, but Carnegie's tips for becoming a friendlier, more likable, and more admirable person are basically the distillation of every folk wisdom proverb you've ever heard, arranged in a logical order with plenty of great if sometimes idiosyncratic examples. It's difficult to review self-help books, since the doing is as important as the reading, but I think if you consciously observed successful people around you, you would see them using these tips or something very like them. This book hasn't been wildly popular for 80 years for no reason, and if everyone else used his principles on me, I think my life would be a lot more pleasant.

Of course, if Carnegie's method is so obviously successful, then why isn't everyone using it? Why do other self-help books even exist? Well, therein lies an entirely different book itself, but one metaphor I find helpful when thinking about self-help books is that of the distinction between a recipe and a cookbook. Lots of self-help books claim that they need to be followed like a recipe - use these ingredients, in these amounts, combined in this order - or else they don't work. That's how authors get rich, by selling overly exact instructions to people who just want a simple formula, and if it's not working then just purchase the next installment for a low, low price. Better books take the bigger picture and are philosophically more like cookbooks - you almost certainly won't ever make the vast majority of these dishes, but if you happen to have a few major ingredients and can adapt yourself, here are some options that fit what you have - and as a consequence are better able to capture the complexity of life. Cookbooks are composed of recipes but not limited to them, and being able to capture the essentials without demanding overly rigid implementation is the difference between real insight and a collection of clichés. Anyone can write "be a nicer person" - the trick is showing what that means as a general principle.

So what's so special about Carnegie's book? He's brief and to the point, his recommendations are sensible (be someone people like to be around, avoid confrontation and negativity, find ways to turn trouble spots into opportunities), and his examples are usually well-chosen without being confining. Most of all, he's fanatical about practicing, which I think is under-appreciated. Self-help is an active genre where results are expected - if someone got to the end of a seduction manual, laid it back on the shelf, gave it 5 stars, and then never actually used it, you would probably question either the person, the book, or the rating. It's to be expected that you need to practice these things, because they're hard. Carnegie doesn't get into the sociological questions of why some people are "natural" leaders, or why exactly these methods seem to work, or what perfect mastery would look like, but I think most readers are more interested in practical technique than theoretical underpinnings. As always, it's a cruel irony that tense situations are both the time that these recommendations would be most helpful, and the time that they're the most difficult to calmly apply, but that's why you practice.

Even when he goes awry, the sheer absurdity is often enough to make me forgive him. For example, in the very last section of Part Four ("Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest") he recommends the fox-guarding-the-henhouse principle of deputizing the worst offender to prevent others from doing something that's bothering you:

"This technique of giving titles and authority worked for Napoleon and it will work for you. For example, a friend of mine, Mrs. Ernest Gent of Scarsdale, New York, was troubled by boys running across and destroying her lawn. She tried criticism. She tried coaxing. Neither worked. Then she tried giving the worst sinner in the gang a title and a feeling of authority. She made him her 'detective' and put him in charge of keeping all trespassers off her lawn. That solved her problem. Her 'detective' built a bonfire in the backyard, heated an iron red hot, and threatened to brand any boy who stepped on the lawn."

Well... okay.

So should you read this instead of one of the countless competing books? I still remember a moment in grad school where we read about a competing model to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. The elements were rearranged and reordered just enough to be different from Maslow while saying essentially the same thing, and I've never stopped being interested in how people can come up with multiple competing semi-quantitative models for explain qualitative phenomena like human interaction and even pretend to be doing rigorous science. Jessica Lamb-Shapiro did an interesting interview for NPR's Fresh Air in January 2014 about self-help, making the case that for most people, choosing between very similar self-help books ultimately boiled down to finding language that works for you. Carnegie's earnest and corny Midwesternisms probably won't work for every single person, but the person who can't find anything useful whatsoever in this quick and focused little volume is truly exceptional, and probably not in a good way. It doesn't cover everything, but then no book does. When reading it I was almost overwhelmed by recollections of times of decisions where I could have made better choices, and that seems to be the case for many people as well. It's hard to argue with his own appraisal of his book:

"If, as a result of reading this book, you get only one thing - an increased tendency to think always in terms of the other person's point of view, and see things from that person's angle as well as your own - if you get only that one thing from this book, it may easily prove to be one of the stepping-stones of your career."

Here are his principles, make up your own mind on if these look useful:

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People:
- PRINCIPLE 1: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
- PRINCIPLE 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- PRINCIPLE 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You:
- PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
- PRINCIPLE 2: Smile.
- PRINCIPLE 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- PRINCIPLE 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- PRINCIPLE 5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- PRINCIPLE 6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:
- PRINCIPLE 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. (Bonus tips: Welcome the disagreement, distrust your first instinctive impression, control your temper, listen first, look for areas of agreement, be honest, promise to think over your opponents' ideas and study them carefully, thank your opponents sincerely for their interest, and postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem).
- PRINCIPLE 2: Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
- PRINCIPLE 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- PRINCIPLE 4: Begin in a friendly way.
- PRINCIPLE 5: Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
- PRINCIPLE 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- PRINCIPLE 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- PRINCIPLE 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
- PRINCIPLE 9: Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
- PRINCIPLE 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
- PRINCIPLE 11: Dramatize your ideas.
- PRINCIPLE 12: Throw down a challenge.

Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment:
- PRINCIPLE 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- PRINCIPLE 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- PRINCIPLE 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- PRINCIPLE 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- PRINCIPLE 5: Let the other person save face.
- PRINCIPLE 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
- PRINCIPLE 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- PRINCIPLE 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- PRINCIPLE 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. ( )
  aaronarnold | May 11, 2021 |
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» Lägg till fler författare (35 möjliga)

Författarens namnRollTyp av författareVerk?Status
Carnegie, Daleprimär författarealla utgåvorbekräftat
Carnegie, DorothyRedaktörmedförfattarevissa utgåvorbekräftat
Grasman, GerardÖversättaremedförfattarevissa utgåvorbekräftat
Pell, Arthur R.Bidragsgivaremedförfattarevissa utgåvorbekräftat

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This book is dedicated to a man who doesn't need to read it - My cherished friend Homer Croy
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Introduction by Lowell Thomas - a short-cut to distinction. On a cold, winter night last January two thousand five hundred men and women thronged into the grand ballroom of the Hotel Pennsylvania in New York. Every available seat was filled by half past seven.

Introduction by Dale Carnegie - How this book was written - and why.  ... Why, then, have I had the temerity to write another book? And, after I have written it, why should you bother to read it?
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Relocated from 'first words' Common Knowledge entry -"How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1937 in an edition of only five thousand copies." Which appears to be from the preface written by Dorothy Carnegie (Mrs. Dale Carnegie) to the 'revised' addition.

Following copied from Simon & Schuster (original publishers) web page on 10 May 2015 "Since its release in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 15 million copies."
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Carnegie's classic bestseller--an inspirational personal-development guide that shows how to achieve lifelong success--is now in a newly packaged edition, the first hardcover release of this classic since 1981.

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