I've heard the term "post-traumatic growth" before but wanted to know more about it. Rendon gave me a solid foundation for the research that birthed the term and explored the stories of individuals who experienced it after personal trauma.

The careful research, engaging tone, and diverse life stories made the book an easy read. Most of the stories involved people who experienced severe physical trauma, however the way each person moved toward recovery and growth speaks to anyone coping with significant upheaval or trying to understand someone who is.

Rendon's work will help me complete my own book about major transitions and personal transformation. So glad I found it. ( )

5 stars: an Exceptionally good book

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From the back cover: what if there is an upside to experiencing trauma? Most survivors of trauma, whether they live through life threatening illnesses or accidents, horror on the battlefield, or the loss of a loved one, suffer, sometimes for months or years. But, over the last few decades, psychologists have discovered that suffering is only part of the experience. Many trauma survivors, with the right circumstances and proper support, also benefit from some of life's most terrible experiences. Strange as it may sound, they emerge from trauma and their suffering stronger, more focused, and with a new perspective on their future. Jim Rendon delivers a deeply reported look at life changing implications of post traumatic growth, and emerging field of psychological research. He shows how the suffering caused by traumatic events can become a force for dramatic life change, moving people to find deeper meaning in their lives, and driving them to help themselves and others. In fact, more than half of trauma survivors report *positive* changes from these experiences--far more than suffer from the better known PTSD. But how can terrible events lead to remarkable dramatic breakthrough? Can rtauma really result in personal growth? And if so, how?

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I was unfamiliar with the concept of post traumatic growth (PTG) until a manager of mine, K, mentioned it to me. It immediately resonated from areas in my life and I was driven to explore further. Sure enough, this book fascinated me. The book is split into three parts: Part one: why terrible experiences can also be good for you. Part two: essential tools for growth and Part 3: Cultivating growth. Part two interested me the most, because it noted 6 areas that are hallmarks for those who experience PTG. In hindsight, they aren't surprising: telling a new story (changing the narrative), relying on others/ community support, honest communication, transformative power of optimism, finding meaning in faith and creativity spurring growth. This book is ten stars in part because its readability and accessibility, and moreover, because how many times I stopped, thought, considered my life, observations in others, and prompted me to look deeply within. Its a rare book that does that, and I expect I will reread and consult it regularly.

Some excerpts that resonated:

[In discussing POWs in Vietnam who have a high rate of PTG] "The prisoners were the best of the best; fighter pilots and copilots. They were smart, well educated, brash, young and filled with bravado, hardly people prone to introspection. The captivity, depravation, and abuse forced them to spend years with little to do but reflect and to do with threat of death hanging over their heads. ... they learned to value their imagination."

'He who has a 'why' to live with can bear with almost any 'how'." --Nietzsche. It was not just a call to find meaning, but a demand. Meaning was not a luxury for Frankl; it was the difference between life and death. [discussing an Auschwitz survivor].

"Over time it has become apparent to many in the field that trauma in a traumatic event is more closely associated with a person's perception of the event than the event itself. Bereavement is a common cause of the symptoms associated with post traumatic stress, yet death is universal human experience."

"Those at the far end of the spectrum, survivors of genocide, for example, their world may be so shattered, the trauma so all encompassing, that they may have little left with which to rebuild. They may become functional, but significant growth may be unlikely. And those who experience only a mild traumatic experience may not have their world and sense of self disturbed enough to force them through the process required for change to occur. It is the midrange of experience where most studies show the greatest potential for growth.

The stories people tell about who they are and what their lives can and can't be are remarkably important. They can trap individuals in a life that no longer works or can open the door to something new and transformative. Traumatic events have the capacity not only to upend those stories, but they can also be the catalyst that forces people to find new and often better narratives for ourselves.

[Psychology professor Robert] Niemeyer says that the pain of these experiences becomes the catalyst that forces the introspection. In a way, a person can only be miserable for so long before he tries to find a way out. 'The pain can provide the pivot point. People reach a point where they are just trying to find a way to reach beyone the pain and embrace life again.'

If extroverts experience a lot of stress, then it is more likely that they will experience growth because they are more likely to call for social support. Outgoing people are more likely to share their problems, to ask for help and be willing to receive it.

She was living in a suite with six juniors, normal twenty year olds, concerned about papers and test and the minutiae of college life. Watson knew they were good people, but she had a hard time relating. "I thought, wait a second, my perspective has changed. I had a better sense of what was important to me." [SO much this. Precisely. I still don't relate to high school or college experiences].

Traumatic experiences tend to remain in the victims awareness until they are either made sense of cognitively, or they simply fade with time. Making terms with trauma--coming to terms with what it means--is a relatively efficient way of comprehending and accepting adverse experiences. Waiting for trauma to fade away can take an awfully long time and lead to lots of problems. By talking or writing about difficult experiences, survivors are forced to translate them into language, which is particularly important with traumatic memories. ... once that's done, people can assign the trauma some meaning, some level of coherence, and give the event a structure and place in their lives. Representing the experience with language is a necessary step toward understanding the experience.

Optimists have lots of advantages over others in these situations. They have broad and deep support networks. They are more integrated into their communities. They live longer and have more fulfilling lives.

'From the cancer I learned to stay focused in the present. People want something to make them happy instead of just being happy. This whole experience has taught me that if you wait for something external to make you happy, you are missing the point. It's a choice. You just have to be happy and to be really happy you have to live today, not yesterday and not tomorrow.'

A number of studies have found a high correlation between faith and PTG.... One large review ... found that religious coping was more often correlated with growth than most other attributes, including community support or optimism, though those were not too far behind. For many, religious faith is a key to finding meaning in traumatic suffering.

Similarly, most people have something in their lives that they consider sacred regardless of their faith. If they can identify those things that have the deepest meaning and then work to better incorporate them into their lives, they are more likely to heal from trauma and change for the better. It can be anything, a loving relationship, work, the environment, making the world a better place.

[A terminally ill patient] decided that she would forgive everyone in advance for all of the insensitive and inapproprate things they were going to say to her. And she would accept everything and anything that people gave her-- time, food, clothes, money-- without guilt. I never questioned myself. There is such freedom when death is possible, you become very present in your life in a way that is different.

... It is not just any social support that helps. He found no value in the efforts of friends and family to help him. Support for those who understand what the survivor is going through, who the individual feels he can be open with, provides the most benefit. .. Powell conducted a 202 study of traumatic brain injury survivors... The most effective type of social support for this group is other brain injury survivors.

Trauma is not the debilitating experience that it seems to be. Those who survive traumatic experience have, by definition, survived. And given that they come so close to death, that they lost so many things they once took for granted, they understand on a much deeper level, in a much more informed way, what it means to be alive. Like few others they understand the gift and opportunity that exists in just being alive. They are driven to do worthwhile and meaningful things with their life. And those pursuits bring them each a kind of eudaimonic happiness that they rarely experienced before. It is part of why they do what they do and it is certainly part of why they will continue to live their lives according to the new course that was laid out for them the day they crossed paths with tragedy. They understand that trauma, for all of the misery it brings with it, also presents a remarkable opportunity. ( )